Deeper Thoughts

[Red Squirrel]

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a
peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and
the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that
make the Tennessee Titans ?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put
your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just
stale bread to begin with?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a
person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
(Im not married but I find that last one outrageously funny)

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry
cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men? Crockett?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a
whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . .
they're cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny
little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers
use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just
put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look
for them while they deliver the mail?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
too true

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is
winning.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
zigzag?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:978, old post ID:8633

[Chris Vogel]

Those were cool!

I MUST point this out though....

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
(Im not married but I find that last one outrageously funny)

The shortest sentence in the English language is "Go." Well, I think that's the shortest one. I can't think of anything shorter.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:978, old post ID:8641