THE FATITUDES

[Bookworm]

THE FATITUDES

In the beginning...God covered the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, with yellow and green vegetables
of all kinds, so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's
and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said:
You want hot fudge with that? And Man said: yes!
And woman said: I'll have one too, with sprinkles

And lo, they gained 10 pounds

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the
figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flower from the wheat and sugar
from the cane, and combined them.
And Woman went from size 2 to size 14

So God said: Try my fresh green garden salad.

And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic toast
on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said : I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive
oil in which to cook them.

And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped
lobster chunks and chicken-fried steak...so big it needed it's own platter.
And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and slicked the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats, adding copious quanities
of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those
extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would
not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

God then gave them lean beef so that might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and the 99 cent double cheese burger.
Then Satan said:
You want fries with that?
And Man said: Yes, and super size 'em.
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed....and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then .....Satan chuckled and created HMO's.

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[Red Squirrel]

hahahaha nice!

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[flowergirlajg]

Good one. lol

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