EMMA

[Miss_Crazy]

This is actually harder to write than i thought it would be. Its not that i don't like talking about it, i just don't know where to start. Well, i guess the beginning would be a good place.

Right, lets begin. One day everything was fine. My life was like any other 15 year olds. Going to school, hanging out with my mates. I'd been seeing Jack for a few years. My parents liked him, his parents liked me. We done everything together.
One night, my mate Chloe was having a party. Not for any reason, but her parents were away, so she threw a wild party.

When we were there, Jack found loads of vodka. Stupidly, we started drinking it. In the end we were so drunk one thing led to another, and....well, i think you can guess what happened next.

The next few days were ok, we couldnt really remember anything about it. One day, i woke up feeling REALLY sick. My mum thought i had a bug, but deep down i knew it was something more than that.

The sickness didn't pass for ages, but i started pretending to m family that i was fine. It was easy as long as i wasn't aroud them too much. When i got to school a month later, i told my best mate Rachel that i thought i was pregnant. I guess she could tell i wasnt joking by the look on my face. So, at lunch break, we snuck out of school and got a pregnancy test....i didnt dare do it for ages...especially not at home. So i took it into school and done it there. It was the only place i knew i wouldnt get caught.

When the test was positive i just sat in the toilets, crying. Rachel came in and instantly she knew what was wrong. My head was spinning. I didnt know what to do. I sat up for hours each night, wishing i could turn the clock back. I knew i couldnt, so i eventually told the school nurse. She was great about it. She didnt pressurize me into telling my parents or anything. I knew i had to, so i done it that night.

When i told my family, my mum just cried. It was the most awful feeling in my life. I knew i had let her down. My dad was SO mad. He was ready to storm round Jacks, but i managed to talk him out of it. Deep down he knew it wouldnt have done any good. Although they were mad, they told me that they'd be there for me no matter what.

It was such a relief, not having to keep this big secret anymore. Everything seemed to get easier now my parents knew. Not everyone was so understanding though. I couldn't keep it a secret from the outside world much longer, but i tried.
A few months later, when i started showing, i'd feel people staring at me as i walked down the street. Whispering behind my back. It was horrible.

As the months passed, i seemed to be going out less and less. Not because my friends had left me, but because i didn't have the energy. The first time i felt Emma move....it was amazing. I cant really explain it. I knew then that no matter what happened, this baby would be the most important thing in my life.

The months passed, i grew bigger by the day, and the stares got even worse. People would talk about me just loud enough for me to overhear. Its not something that i want to go through again. But after a while, i didn't care what anyone thought of me. The most important thing was my baby.

The day i went into labour was the scariest day of my life. I was petrified. I'd been having pains on and off all night, but by the next morning it was the real thing. I rang Jack and told him to get his butt down mine sharpish. And he did. He lives 15 minutes walk away, and he got to me in 5 minutes. I still dont know how he managed that! Anyway, we rang the hospital to let them know, and we got ready to go

At the hospital, i was taken into a side room and hooked up to loads of monitors and stuff. By this point the pain was really bad. They did give me drugs and stuff, but nothing helped. I dont really know why but they seemed to make the pain worse.

I was laying there for hours, just talking to Jack about crap. Anything to take my mind off the pain. After about 3 hours, the midwife came in and said they were gonna take me to the delivery room. Thats when i started to get REALLY scared. My mum and Jack came with me. Dad had to stay with Kirsty.

When we were in there, everything started happening so fast. It was almost like a dream. I could see people, hear people but i was in too much pain to care. They tried the pain relief once more, but it was the same. It wasnt helping.

If anyone tells you giving birth is easy, think again. Its not. Its total agony. In the end Jacks hand turned blue. I'm not joking, i didnt realise i was so strong. He made some crack about leaving me to it, but i knew he wouldnt.

People say that when the heads out, it gets easier.Well, it does in a way, but it still hurts. I couldnt believe how much pain i was in. I wanted to stop. But i knew i couldnt. This baby wanted to come. Fast.

Pushing the head out was the worst part. It hurt SO much. But i knew i couldn't turn back. I just had to get on with it.

As i was pushing, Jack was talking. I dunno what about really. I remember telling him to shut up though, so it must have been annoying. I was in that delivery room for about 2 hours, and i'd been pushing for 90 minutes. I was knackered. But when Emma was finally born and the midwife handed her to me, i knew all that pain, agony even, had been worth it.

Emma's 8 weks old now. Its not easy being a teen mum, but i've got my family behind me. Not to mention 2 very special friends of mine.

Thats the first time i've gone over that in detail. Normally i only tell people bits and bobs, but i needed to do this. Not just for me, but for every other teenage girl out there. Just think before you do anything stupid.


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[Bookworm]

Well, I don't want this post to just sit here without any responses. The difficulty with reading something so personal is that my cynical, skeptical mind kicks in, and I wonder, "Is this really true?" How likely is it that a person would post something so personal with just their second post? On the other hand, I have no reason to believe that it is false, so I will take it at face value and respond accordingly. I, for one, commend you on your decision to keep your baby. You will be faced with a lot of hard work and some difficult times, but you will never regret your decision. My wife and I suffered a miscarriage at the beginning of this year, and we often think about the unborn baby. I hope that every day you will hold your little Emma close, kiss her forehead, and thank God that you have her.

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[Anonymous]

This dragged me out of my reverie.

One, if this is true, you really are easily drunk under the table and seduced, eh?

Secondly, if this is a joke it's not that funny.

By the way, let this be proof to all of you that Englishmen cannot keep it in their pants.

Scotland Forever

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1351, old post ID:17062

[Joe]

Everyone should take a lesson from this and learn to carry around a certain peice of rubber for whenever you need it......anyway....It might seem overwhelming now butwhen you look back you will be glad you had the baby. I hope we can get some sort of response from you.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1351, old post ID:17063

[Chyse]

wow, i'll never drink in the same room with my girlfriend again! (not that i've ever had alcohol)

that really sux. but in a way it was good. maybe god wanted you to get drunk and have a baby. maybe Emma was supposed to happen, and fate kicked in. whatever it is, now you have someone that will always love you, and you will always love them back.

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