Ms buys the sith

[Red Squirrel]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TECH/ptech/08/23/m...h.ap/index.html

SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- Microsoft has been rapidly growing it’s operations, from antispyware, robotics, and now, the Sith. Today the final steps were taken and Microsoft(MSFT) has bought the Sith. “This empire is powerful, big, and will help Microsoft go in the direction they really want, and successfully” said Former Emperor Palpatine. The total cost of this purchase was 253.45 Billion US. “You have to spend money to make money”, Said Steve Ballmer “Our ways of thinking are alike the Sith Empire, so this new division of our company will suit our ongoing operations very well”.

Microsoft now plans to build a giant space station which will be powered by Windows Vista, once released. The structure is expected to be completed and fully operational by 2194, only a few years after the actual planned release of Vista. “Linux is a big threat, and we cannot allow it to expand as much as it has in the past few years.” Mentioned Bill Gates, during a press conference. “Not only is Linux invading Earth, but last I heard, NASA is starting to use Linux to power some of it’s shuttle equipment which means great loss by Microsoft. We can’t let that happen. The dark side is not ready to allow it.”

The space station, code named “WinStar Enterprise Edition” will have enough force to uninstall Linux on 20,000 servers simultaneously, within seconds. “This alone wont be good enough, the Force is what will really help, and Darth Vader, our new marketing director, will help me learn it” Said Bill Gates. The WinStar, powered by Celeron blade server clusters, will be able to generate a heat output enough to vaporize an entire planet.

Linus Torvalds is not impressed, but nether scared of this decision by Microsoft. “This just comes to show, Microsoft really fears the Linux movement, and I actually feel good, rather then scared. With some modifications to Firefox on Ubuntu, we should be able to fend off most of the imperial forces we may face”. Many open source developers have already started to prepare for a possible war once the Winstar is completed. “I managed to get the plans for it, and its bugged. Badly.” Mentioned a hacker who was asked to be left anonymous, and was not willing to give more information on the flaw. “Lets just say this hole will allow a few of us to self destruct the entire system, their cockpit will be lit in blue I can tell you that.” No Jedi forces were available for further interview at this time.

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