United States!

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 3:31 am

1) Large prosperous 1st world nation.
2) Also known as 'America'. For some reason Brazilians and Canadians don't get too angry about this.
3) World's biggest importer of damn-near everything.
4) World's second biggest exporter, behind Germany. What the US lacks in selling cars it makes up for in selling substandard beer and sniggering.
5) Secretly plans to rule the world with the McDonalds and Coca-Cola corporations.
6) Will probably be surprised when said corporations buy African nations and set up the McDonalds Empire and Free People's Republic of Coca-Cola.
7) Is known for massive obesity.
8) Is also known for not caring, since... well, they have cheap petrol and a god-awful amount of TV channels.
9) Prides itself on racial diversity.
10) Doesn't seem to see the irony of heralding shows like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as statements against network segregation... given... the all... black... cast. Um.
11) Doesn't seem to see the irony.
12) Appears to have Pinnochio as a President.
13) Prides itelf on inventing the atom bomb.
14) Psah. We invented *marmalade*. That beats nukes any day!

wooo hoo!

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fragged one · Post by **fragged one** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 10:30 am

William Wallace wrote: 1) Large prosperous 1st world nation.
2) Also known as 'America'. For some reason Brazilians and Canadians don't get too angry about this.
3) World's biggest importer of damn-near everything.
4) World's biggest exporter, ahead of Germany. While the US sells some of the most reliable cars, it also sells substandard beer and sniggering.
5) Secretly plans to rule the world with the McDonalds and Coca-Cola corporations.
6) Will probably be surprised when said corporations buy African nations and set up the McDonalds Empire and Free People's Republic of Coca-Cola.
7) Is known for massive obesity, but not far ahead of the United Kingdom and other European nations.
8) Is also known for caring, since... well, they provide by far the most charitable contributions and government aide to poor countries and people.
9) Prides itself on racial diversity.
10) Understands the irony of shows like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as statements against network segregation... given... the all... black... cast. That is exactly the point, missed by Scots.
11) Scots don't seem to see the irony.
12) Appears to have a monkey as a President.
13) Prides itelf on inventing the atom bomb, and saving millions of lives by using it to end WWII in the Pacific Ocean.
14) Marmalade tastes like .

wooo hoo!

i've corrected your post here, sir.

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Jon · Post by **Jon** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 10:54 am

That sucks. Damn it!

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 11:49 am

hahaha hilarious

5) Secretly plans to rule the world with the McDonalds and Coca-Cola corporations.

Vote Ronald McDonald as president!

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Cisco_Kid · Post by **Cisco_Kid** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 1:15 pm

forgot one
- leads the world in frivolous lawsuits frequently started by folks that should win the Darwin Award

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Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 4:14 am

fragged one wrote: i've corrected your post here, sir.

1) Large prosperous corrupt 1st world nation.
2) Also known as 'America'. For some reason Brazilians and Canadians don't get too angry about this.
3) World's biggest importer of damn-near everything made in sweatshops.
4) World's biggest exporter, ahead of Germany. While the US sells some of the most reliable cars, it also sells substandard beer and sniggering.
5) Secretly plans to rule the world with the McDonalds and Coca-Cola corporations.
6) Will probably be surprised when said corporations buy African nations and set up the McDonalds Empire and Free People's Republic of Coca-Cola.
7) Is known for massive obesity, quite far ahead of the United Kingdom and other European nations. Especially since the number one cause of death in America is Cardiac Arrest or other heart troubles.
8) Is also known for caring, since... well, they provide by far the most charitable contributions and government aide to poor countries and people. As much as they can anyway with corrupt employees embezzeling from them.
9) Prides itself on racial diversity. Tries to hide racism but it is still in the open.
10) Doesn't understand the irony of shows like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as statements against network segregation... given... the all... black... cast. Some try to seem that they do. That is exactly the point, as understood by Scots.
11) Scots don't seem to see the irony, but they do, and laugh with the rest of the world at them. Americans turn a blind eye to this and continue pounding back Big Macs and watching Friends. Not to mention voting for plants.
12) Appears to have a warmongering monkey as a President.
13) Prides itelf on inventing the atom bomb, and saving millions of lives by using it to end WWII in the Pacific Ocean. Destroys millions of lives and corrupts the next generation of people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki with the bomb.
14) Marmalade tastes like censored.gif. So does McDonalds with their barfy burgers.

wooo hoo!

----

Mr fragged, you forgot some things too.

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 7:16 am

William Wallace wrote: Not to mention voting for plants.

Well I know I'd vote for a potted plant over Bush or Kerry. Perhaps a nice small cactus. We wouldn't have to worry about it starting wars or anything, just put it in the window of the oval office and give it a spritz of water every now and again

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FloodG8-9595 · Post by **FloodG8-9595** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 2:16 pm

This is what I think.

If you really think that the U.S.A is Evil and trying to take over the world, It seems that YOU may have been watching too much T.V. I'm no fan of our president in this country and I hope to help get him out of office this November but, I honestly think that everyone in power THINK's he/she is doing the right thing by there people. There are exceptions and there is real evil but, Ashcroft is closer to that than most of the administration. Saddam said at trial that he attacked neighboring countries because he "wanted to keep his army busy". While it may seem that the U.S. does the same thing you have to realize that from the Presidents prespective he IS doing the right thing. So of course because of the mentality in Europe the entire population of teh U.S. gets blamed for the follies of one administration and or a few bad seeds. Can you people not get a grip on the "individual" at all?.. do you not see that you have people that agree with you here that are being killed because they are "American" yet, you people say we deserve it because of our goverments standpoint. If this is truly the case I have no problem saying that we HAVE truly evolved beyond your limited ability to see the truth.. I hate to say that... but maybe it's true..

Sorry this rant ended up here in the Jokes forum...but I can't very well delete it so it's here..

Also let me say that this rant was NOT dirrected at you in particular William just people who think in the same vein. It seems that a lot of what I see you type.. while hilarious, is rooted in a belief that I can't even comprihend.. not this post as much really now that i read it. If I have missunderstood your viewpoint then accept my

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 2:40 pm

The US is not evil, they just think they are better then everyone.

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 8:14 pm

Red Squirrel wrote: The US is not evil, they just think they are better then everyone.

The US thinks it's better than everyone else, because we have more money than anyone else. If Canada were richer than the US they'd be just as bad. What makes the US "evil" is a combination of factors that are present all over the world. It's just a matter of money, power, and a bit of bad luck that make them what they are in the US. Any other country could easily be just as evil given the right circumstances.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 8:39 pm

Very true.

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erolyn · Post by **erolyn** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:31 pm

fragged one wrote: 13) Prides itelf on inventing the atom bomb, and saving millions of lives by using it to end WWII in the Pacific Ocean.

I'm sorry, but I have no idea how you can say that a weapon that killed ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND Japanese people "saved" lives. Yeah, it may have saved American lives, but despite what the majority of this country seems to believe, American citizens aren't the only people who are human, and people who aren't American deserve to live every bit as much as we do.

I was gonna refrain from ranting about this, since Will went back and corrected it, and this IS the jokes forum, but I couldn't. Sorry. It bothers me too much...I did a report about Hiroshima several years ago, and it was really disturbing what happened to all those innocent people. So it's kind of a sore spot.

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FloodG8-9595 · Post by **FloodG8-9595** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:43 pm

Yeah it was a terrible thing to do.. I agree with that. but it did save more than American lives.. do you not think that those same one hundred thousand inoccent people would have died just as easily from another 3 or 5 years of carpet bombing?... maybe more than a hundred thousand maybe a lot more..especially since we're talking about inoccent lives lost on all fronts here.. The reason it's such a tragity is because so many lives were wiped out so quickly, not because of the ammount of life lost.. so many people died in that war. Maybe there was a better way but the people in charge at the time didn't see it. Will we really continue to harp on the past of a nation and not on it's future?.. Sure it's improtrtant to remember but, to use it as a "America sucks" card is surly a low blow.. put yourself in that situation.. Kill 100 THousand people and end a war that could concievably kill more or don't use it and let the war rage on.

There are those that say that Japan would have surrendered regardless.. maybe this is true and maybe it isn't I can't claim to know. There's nothing we can do to change it all we can do is work so that it never has to happen again, and as long as we're at each others throats over who's country is better than who's or who's religion is better than who's that's never gonna happen..

This is seriously all I'm gonna say seriously on the subject for afore mentioned reasons... then again I feel that the origional posting was a little too inviting ofthis type of critisizm in the first place but, who am I to say that...

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Minnie · Post by **Minnie** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 12:47 am

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fragged one · Post by **fragged one** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 1:25 am

erolyn wrote: I'm sorry, but I have no idea how you can say that a weapon that killed ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND Japanese people "saved" lives. Yeah, it may have saved American lives, but despite what the majority of this country seems to believe, American citizens aren't the only people who are human, and people who aren't American deserve to live every bit as much as we do.

I was gonna refrain from ranting about this, since Will went back and corrected it, and this IS the jokes forum, but I couldn't. Sorry. It bothers me too much...I did a report about Hiroshima several years ago, and it was really disturbing what happened to all those innocent people. So it's kind of a sore spot.

there were two options: drop the bomb, or invade japan.

an invasion of japan would have cost probably millions of lives, so, we dropped a bomb. after the first bomb, japan refused to surrender, then we dropped a second, then they surrendered.

that saved hundreds of thousands of japanese lives that would have been lost duing an invasion, and hundreds of thousands of american lives that would have been lost in an invasion.

there really isn't a dispute to that fact.

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erolyn · Post by **erolyn** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 3:40 pm

FloodG8-9595 wrote: Kill 100 THousand people and end a war that could concievably kill more or don't use it and let the war rage on.

There are those that say that Japan would have surrendered regardless.. maybe this is true and maybe it isn't I can't claim to know. There's nothing we can do to change it all we can do is work so that it never has to happen again, and as long as we're at each others throats over who's country is better than who's or who's religion is better than who's that's never gonna happen..

Maybe if we'd gotten involved in the war earlier, when our help was first asked for, the war could've ended earlier anyway. Who knows. I just think it's ironic to say that a weapon that wiped out so many people actually saved lives.

The problem with trying to make sure it never happens again is that since the invention of the atomic bomb, it's spread all over the world, and now people have them who are going to want to use them against us...people who think their countries and religions are better than ours. And maybe I'm pessimistic, but I think that as long as people aren't mindless clones who think exactly the same way, there are always going to be people who think their way is better. Right now we just have huge weapons to do the arguing for us.

And I'm pretty sure that had we invaded Japan, people wouldn't have been turned to ash on impact when we shot them and entire cities wouldn't have been reduced to piles of rubble.

I should really just move to Switzerland or something. People in Switzerland never fight about wars...they're neutral!

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fragged one · Post by **fragged one** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 3:48 pm

erolyn wrote: Maybe if we'd gotten involved in the war earlier, when our help was first asked for, the war could've ended earlier anyway. Who knows. I just think it's ironic to say that a weapon that wiped out so many people actually saved lives.

The problem with trying to make sure it never happens again is that since the invention of the atomic bomb, it's spread all over the world, and now people have them who are going to want to use them against us...people who think their countries and religions are better than ours. And maybe I'm pessimistic, but I think that as long as people aren't mindless clones who think exactly the same way, there are always going to be people who think their way is better. Right now we just have huge weapons to do the arguing for us.

it is ironic, isn't it? what's also ironic, is that the atomic weapons have done a lot to prevent wars since ww2. do you think there would be much stopping the us and the ussr from waging war without the threat of being wiped out by nukes?

the nuke ended ww2, and prevented major wars since then. i'd say it's done more good than harm, by far.

am i glad that hundreds of thousands of japanese died from an atomic bomb? no, but i am glad that it allowed the war to end without a massive invasion that would have no doubt caused much more lives lost, and i'm also glad that it has since prevented more massive conflicts.

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Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 5:02 pm

aMeRiCa SUXORZ!!!! LOLZ

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Joe · Post by **Joe** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 12:53 am

erolyn wrote: I'm sorry, but I have no idea how you can say that a weapon that killed ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND Japanese people "saved" lives. Yeah, it may have saved American lives, but despite what the majority of this country seems to believe, American citizens aren't the only people who are human, and people who aren't American deserve to live every bit as much as we do.

I was gonna refrain from ranting about this, since Will went back and corrected it, and this IS the jokes forum, but I couldn't. Sorry. It bothers me too much...I did a report about Hiroshima several years ago, and it was really disturbing what happened to all those innocent people. So it's kind of a sore spot.

Couldnt you be more like your brother.

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Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 6:46 am

erolyn wrote: I should really just move to Switzerland or something. People in Switzerland never fight about wars...they're neutral!

During WW2 the Swiss fought tooth and nail (succesfully I might add) to keep the Germans out of their country.

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erolyn · Post by **erolyn** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 7:15 pm

Joe wrote: Couldnt you be more like your brother.

I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just say that...

If I was more like my brother I'd be trying to get every male in this forum to sleep with me. Which...okay, so maybe I can see why you'd want me to be more like him. But...no.

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erolyn · Post by **erolyn** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 7:19 pm

fragged one wrote: it is ironic, isn't it? what's also ironic, is that the atomic weapons have done a lot to prevent wars since ww2. do you think there would be much stopping the us and the ussr from waging war without the threat of being wiped out by nukes?

the nuke ended ww2, and prevented major wars since then. i'd say it's done more good than harm, by far.

am i glad that hundreds of thousands of japanese died from an atomic bomb? no, but i am glad that it allowed the war to end without a massive invasion that would have no doubt caused much more lives lost, and i'm also glad that it has since prevented more massive conflicts.

Call me crazy (and I'm sure you shall), but I don't like knowing that humans have the power and the technology to distroy the entire planet in a matter of minutes. Doesn't help me sleep at night, ya know?

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Joe · Post by **Joe** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 9:49 pm

erolyn wrote: I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just say that...

If I was more like my brother I'd be trying to get every male in this forum to sleep with me. Which...okay, so maybe I can see why you'd want me to be more like him. But...no.

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FloodG8-9595 · Post by **FloodG8-9595** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:52 am

erolyn wrote: Call me crazy (and I'm sure you shall), but I don't like knowing that humans have the power and the technology to distroy the entire planet in a matter of minutes. Doesn't help me sleep at night, ya know?

yeah I had a big problem coping with that when I was younger.. it's a scary thought. I guess It doesn't particularly bother me anymore beacuse there are so many more things worthy of my attention now. In my opinion the likleyhood of a full scale Global Thermo-Nuclear war is pretty slim... I mean this isn't the cold war anymore.. no one (that I can think of) has ICBM's pointed at us. Don't get me wrong I think that it's possible but more likley that we'll see part of the middle east obliterated maybe a little more..perhapse a suitcase nuke here in the U.S. (which would be worst case senario) I'm personally more concerned with a astroid or comet destroying the planet than I am being nuked.

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Joe · Post by **Joe** » Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:44 pm

erolyn wrote: If I was more like my brother I'd be trying to get every male in this forum to sleep with me. Which...okay, so maybe I can see why you'd want me to be more like him. But...no.

Your brother is trying to get every female on the forum to sleep with him.....

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