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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:08 pm

And before the librarian can respond, Red whips out a spork, stabs the book to death, and runs away screaming...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:28 pm

The rest of the squirrels, baffled, follow after Red. When they finally catch up to him, the obvious question comes up.

"Red, we know that was a bad plot and all, but what the heck was all that stabbing and screaming about?"

Having finally calmed down, Red responds...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue Feb 17, 2004 9:39 am

"it`s a good plot, now you guys do scene 2!"

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 1:08 am

So one of the squirrels opens up the copy of Julius Caeser, and turns to Act 3 Scene 2, Jumps up on top of a box lying around and begins to read:

"If then that friend demand why the Squirrels rose against BitBender, this is my answer: --Not that I loved BitBender less, but that I loved sanity more. Had you rather BitBender were living and die all trace of intelligence, than that BitBender were dead, to live all free men? As BitBender despised me, I smork at him; as he was a moron, I laugh at it; as he was ignorant, I smack him around a bit: but, as he was ambitious, I took that mofo out. There are laughs at his pitiful attempts to harm us; joy for not having to deal with them anymore; relief at his charred carcass; and hours of fun watching the tape of his death over and over again. Who is here so stupid that would mess with us? If any, speak; for him have I few rounds from my Desert Eagle. Who is here so rude that would attack us? If any, speak; for him have a few pounds of C4. Who is here so vile that will sneak a BitBender AI chip into our HQ? If any, speak; for him have a small thermonuclear device. I pause for a reply. "

Then from of of no where a man speaks up...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 8:38 am

"Mr. Squirrel, suprised to see me?", Bitbender, in a metal suit with lot of cool buttons (most likely a red one that can do damage too!) standing at the door, with a gun of an incredible size, a click is heard, as he realizes his .50 machine gun has no ammo!

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 1:22 pm

"Oh no!" Red Screams sarcasticly as the Squirrels poorly feign fear and start running in the opposite direction. But once they've put enough distance between them and BitBender, Red pulls out the Redeemer.

" Didin't he say 'for him I have a small thermonuclear device.'? Well here you go!"

Red shoots off a rocket and anxiously awaits the ensuing carnage...

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 3:53 pm

Unfortunately, BitBender had a translocator on him and teleported to some tropical island!
Red shrugs, and...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 4:05 pm

pressed the undo button on the gun, which emmediatly fixes all of the damage done. To have fun, presses redo and undo a few times to watch the cool explosion. Bitbender laughs evily, stepping closer, cornering red between the walls of his own building, however...

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 4:30 pm

Red telefragged him with his own translocater.
"Well, now that that's over with, what now?"

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 4:40 pm

Being a very fat guy, bitbender is enough to feed a whole army of squirrels. So they eat, before starting, they note a problem...

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 4:42 pm

"These chunks smell funny. Maybe he was diseased or something?"
Red, throwing caution into the wind, took a bite anyway...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:39 am

And then promptly spit it out.

"Bleeeech! What the heck, this is rotten!"

"Rotten? But we just killed him 5 min ago!"

"This can mean only one thing, necromancy!"

"Right. I thought these recent attacks were a bit smart for BitBender! He must have been made into a zombie and sent to attack us just a little while ago! So this necromancer must be the one behind the AI unit and everything else, using the BitBender name [and corpse] to hide himself. But who could it be? I was under the impression that the dark arts were all but dead! Who would have both the knowledge and skill to pull off the complicated series of rituals necessary to create a zombie, let alone one that can almost pass for the original person?!"

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 3:56 pm

Suddenly, it came to red...
"It must be... THE GRIMACE!!!"
A collective gasp came from the squirrels.
"Whadda we do now?"

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 5:40 pm

"OMG WTF I quit this job!" said one of the squirrels, who instantly shot himself but somehow missed, the others tried to calm him down, and said it would be ok.

"Hmm, the grimace usually sticks around a fast food restaurant known as McDeath. Maybe we can blow it up or something. This building is made out of C4 because it is easy to mold, do you think we need the last floor?"

Suddently, everyone freaked, as...

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:43 pm

An army of Ninja French Fries armed with Grease Machine guns parachuted into the room!
"Drop ze weapons, or ve vill shoot you!"
Not wanting to die a greasy death, the squirrels dropped their weapons. Red had to think fast...

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:35, old post ID:17833

brandon · Post by **brandon** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:44 pm

Then, Red got a salt shaker, and killed the fries to death!!!!

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:53 pm

Luckily, he just happened to have a few dozen heat lamps. Under the glow of the lamps, the fries stop moving and simply sit ther for hours. By the fries are able to release themeselves from the glow of the heat lamps, they will too soggy to do much, but the squirrels don't give them a chance! Armed with a giant bag of salt and an industrial sized bottle of ketchup, the squirrels devour their enemies alive! Oh the horror! The unbridled grease-shed!

The French Fries eaten, and hunger satiated. The Squirrels head back to HQ to run a google search on The Grimace, and formulate a plan of attack...

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brandon · Post by **brandon** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 11:58 pm

Then, the Grimace appears out of nowhere, and forces Red and his Squirrels to watch and intrusive McDonalds ad!!!!!

Oh, the agony!!!!!

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 2:21 pm

"Did somebody say McBase?" is the last horroble thing seen on the comercial, then someone horrible apears beside the grimace!

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:04 pm

It was Ronald McDeth: the nuclear clown!!!!

"I think it's time to show the squirrels to my new "play place" so they can "play" with my new ICBM. And by "play" I mean strap them to the darn thing and set the coordinates for the polar ice caps. Yes that's right Red, I'm going to flood the entire world!! Forcing everyone to live in my new McUnderwater-Manufactured-Housing, eat McFish sandwiches, and pay homage to me, the new McEmperor of the enitre McWorld!! Mwhahahahahaha!!!!!"

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:42 pm

"Nooooooo!!!! Quick, I need 10 of you to run downstairs and activate the UUTTSFLE device. " They look at red with a confused face. "Remember? That red button I said never to press? Well go press it and set all orbiting space ships in combat mode, remember the CCD command on the CLI? Well that one, use the No override parameter."

The only squirrel understanding what the heck is talking about freaks out and says...

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brandon · Post by **brandon** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:50 pm

Then, Goku disguised as a Squirrel says HI!!!!!!! to Red, and blows up Bitbender, and screams "All your bitbenders are blong to us!!!!!"

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:57 pm

brandon wrote: Then, Goku disguised as a Squirrel says HI!!!!!!! to Red, and blows up Bitbender, and screams "All your bitbenders are blong to us!!!!!"

You confuse me

Back to the story!
"Won't we get vaporized along with these clowns too, red?!?"
Red replied, "Well, normally we would, but..."

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:02 pm

Yesterday I did a remote install of windows ME on all of their satelite equipment. They don't know yet, well now they know, but it's too late for them to try to connect to them and fix it, they are already all crashed. Now that I think of it, pressing that red button is too dramatic. We need to override the GE Thermonuclea device and go from there. While they are creeping on us, anyone have an idea of something more interesting to do? Let's do a brain storm."

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brandon · Post by **brandon** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:03 pm

Then, brandon just finished beefing up his Super powerful weapon that he judt bought!!!

I knew 4 was my lucky number!!!!!!!

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