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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue May 27, 2003 9:34 am

So they decided that with microwaves and high voltages, they could minimize the effect, and as well as point a path to the NASA Microwave dishes which would help know the right angle, 18.45873 hours later, after calculating all this on an old abandonded pentium found in space, they decide to...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Tue May 27, 2003 11:43 am

focus the voltage and microwaves in front of the robot to act as an energy shield, while transforming the robot into a ball to minimize surface area. But the shields will only last for a short period. They'll have to do a gravity jump using the moon to get enough speed. But then the problem will be slowing down quick enough so not as to create some catastrophic disaster when they hit earth...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue May 27, 2003 3:32 pm

but they decide to worry about that later. Getting on the earth is their main concern. Using half the voltage to prepare the energy fieled, and the other half to make a magnet effect to be propulsed from the moon at some crazy speed is successfully. Now they hit the switch to proceed with the launch...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Tue May 27, 2003 10:51 pm

however the jump gave them much more speed than they had anticipated, and whiel they blast the atmosphere without a hitch, if they dont' reduce their speed qucikly, the impact will cause the entire earth to be drowned in tidal waves, and skill kick up enough dust and dirt to send the earth into the next ice age!

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed May 28, 2003 11:17 pm

But red notices a button labeled "ultra magnetic fieled powered emergency brake XVC634 which is a brake that calculates movement and force and produces a large magnetic field in all the right direction sto equalize the movement force. This, however, will most likely...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Wed May 28, 2003 11:31 pm

fry the brain of the guy who pulls the switch. But that ok, they'll just send one of the squirrels they don't like, so they send....

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed May 28, 2003 11:35 pm

one of the robot chipmunks Red did a good job at brain washing, but they don't need him anymore, since they are now using battery cell #2, so they don't need a conductor anymore for cell #1. So, at 11.376m away from the earth the robot flips the switch and...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Wed May 28, 2003 11:57 pm

everythign worked perfectly... well almost, they still ended up creating a small crater, but no one got hurt, well no one they liked anyway. It seems the crater just happened to be right in the middle of....

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Thu May 29, 2003 7:23 pm

The UK, back where Bitbendertech headquarters used to be, they know it because there is nothing left but rocks, and a peice of straw. The rest went into that block hole. When the squirrels get out of their robots, they notice...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Thu May 29, 2003 9:49 pm

nothing. Which is kind of odd considering all teh napalm, the giant robot battle, the singularity, the giant crater, and the whole crashig down from outer space thing. I mean you'd think there'd be a fair bit of media down there by now, but there isn't. It turs out they are all covering...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri May 30, 2003 2:58 pm

a little girl doing very well at a spelling bee. The thing about the squirrels and battle and all that is simply in a small section on page 29, under the title "photographer takes pictures of flying squirrels" which turns out to be some one in the bush at night, taking pictures of actual flying squirrels gliding. But in the background of the spelling bee picture on the front page there's...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Fri May 30, 2003 3:06 pm

old Billy Gates, with an evil glint in his eye. What could he have planned for this spelling bee?

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri May 30, 2003 3:19 pm

"Of course!" says Red. "He wants to replace all the words with complicated Microsoft terms such as 'lawsuit' and 'supreeme court' instead of 'apple' and 'pen'. What should we do?". Now the suddently super here squirrels do a brainstorm and decide to...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Fri May 30, 2003 5:09 pm

Kill him. So Red pulls out his mini-disintegrator with silencer option, waits until no one is looking and fires off a quick shot, but just before the beam hits Bill, someone sets in the way...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri May 30, 2003 5:11 pm

Saddam Husein and Bin Laden, side by side! Both of them get killed, and as well as Bill Gates! Then, they see something, something they never thought they would see again, it's...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Sat May 31, 2003 12:57 am

Duke Nukem in a PC Game!!!! no... no wait, that's just another rumor about an possible release of Duke Nukem Forever in the very distant future with no conclusive date on even when they will think about announcing a release date. Then, the crowd starts to notice what just happened. Bill Gates, a pivotal figure in the computer industry, the man that made PCs what they are today, has died... ... ... ... and there was much rejoicing. (yay!) The President of the united states, along with much of the house and senate, mourn his loss, while the entire judical branch of the US government shower Red with praises (they don't have to deal with anymore darn anti-trust cases with them)won't have to see his ugly mug in anti-trust trials anymore). Stockholders demand justice, but there's not a judge in the nation that will try him.

However, amidst all the celebration, something seems not quite right...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat May 31, 2003 1:04 am

Red's tail has caught on fire! When what where? "What happened!!!! Get me a human size glass of water!!!" and it's the big panic as the fire grows larger, then Red moves and the fire...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Sat May 31, 2003 3:35 am

completely engulfs him! In a few minutes Red would be a tastey treat for some homeless guy living in the park, if it weren't for some strange shadowy figure... this strange man whips out a fire extinguisher and quickly puts out the flames.

"That was close, wasn't it Red? Or should I say...."

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat May 31, 2003 5:16 pm

Wowzers! That's not CO2 in there! It's N2!". As Red is frozen into a block of ice, the dark figure removes his mask. It can't be. It's bit~bend~er, still scarred from the space attack. He...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Sat May 31, 2003 7:32 pm

just won't die! "This is just like a bad episode of Dragon Ball Z" mumbles red. How he mumbles while frozen solid in a block of ice, I'll never know, but for the sake of the story, suspend your disbelief, ok?

Baffled at how bit~ben~der survived, the squirrels grab red and make a hastey retreat back to their base, to figure out a plan to destroy bit~ben~der for good.

Once back at the base, they realize that when they fought bit~ben~der before, it really wasn't him, but dMartz, which kind explains how he's still alive seeing as they really never destroyed him in the first place.

So, while red is warming up in the base suana, they decide to formulate a plan to destroy bit~ben~der for the first and final time. But first they have to figure out where the real bitbendertech headquarters is. Luckily when they ran into bit~ben~der before, the moron actually took the time to give the squirrels his card, so they already have the address, now all they need is a plan....

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat May 31, 2003 7:47 pm

And the effects of hypothermia on Red gives them an idea. Thank good ness for the warm fur coat, he is ok after, and just wants to go take a nice warm 100C bath and lets the rest of the crew keep going. They decide to order 50 000 litres of liquid nitrogen, in 100 litre canisters which are designed to avoid it from evaporating, and exploding from presure. They call Praxair and get a voice message that says...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Sat May 31, 2003 10:02 pm

"Due to a recent disturbance in the fabric of space ime our system has malfunctioned, and we are unable to take orders at this time"

Who knew that the singularity cannon would affect them? Which makes youwonder what kind of system they are running anyway. Nonetheless, the squirrels will have to get their liquid nitrogen elsewhere....

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sun Jun 01, 2003 1:19 pm

Then Red, now at a decent tempature of -50 degrees celcius says: "The liquid nitrogen that was used in that extinguisher was stolen from IceTeks headquarters! We must go there now! I'm coming, in fact, it's getting hot now!" and they all get in their ...

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manadren_it · Post by **manadren_it** » Sun Jun 01, 2003 2:19 pm

hybrid mid-sized car (a nice big SUV may look cool, but it wastes gas and thus harms the environment

) and jet over to iceteks headquarters, where they have plenty of liquid nitrogen left over from the overclock a 486 to 4ghz experiment. (the cpu did end up getting fried, but it was an intel, so no one cared

)

So, now that they have the liquid nitrogen they need, all they have to do now is...

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sun Jun 01, 2003 5:51 pm

dump it into special tanks, which they have from another experiment of running 5818 voice channels on a single microwave dish, which ended up turning the birds in the air into KFC, and for the first time in history, PETA was mad at animals. So they fill all these cylinders and they are so cold that there's frost on them, and they head over to the real bit~bend~er headquarters, which is...

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