My first official funeral. RIP Stretchy the Woodchuck

[DOCTOR THUNDER]

A little known fact about Doc is that I am an ordained minister at UniversalLifeChurch.com. Last week my dogs caught a woodchuck and I saved his life. My dogs had him in a tug of war match. He was stuck between my pit bull that had him by the head, and my doberman pinscher that had him right between the back legs. Poor little guy. I got out the waterhose and saved him. He actually ran right to me, he knew I was saving his life. We bonded at that moment.

I thought he would be smart enough not to get into the dog pen again.... Well, yesterday my pit bull caught him. She brought him in thru the dog door, I heard him squeak and it was all over. He was dead, on my red rug in the living room. My IRL veterinary skills were not sufficient to rez him. I knew that, so I did not waste any band-aids trying.

It was my first official funeral as an ordained minister. I waited till my roommate got home. We poured out a little beer for the little guy. I said some kind words in his memory. "As he once consumed the plants growing in my dog pen, now the earth shall consume him." I wished him godspeed into the afterlife, then somewhat ceremoniously threw him over the privacy fence into the gas station property. He now lies among the shrubs and bushes, it is where I think he would want to be.

RIP Stretchy. I knew you but only a week, but you will be a memory forever.

On a side note, I am available for weddings, funerals, bar mitzfas, or anything else you need clergy for. Cheap rates, willing to trade services for items in game.

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[Plastic Man]

I'm ordained by ULC too. I've actually performed 1 wedding since being ordained. It was fun.

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[Apple Puff]

AWWWwwwwwW Was it bonded

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[jrhather]

obviously not.

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