Sorry

[Chyse]

Okay, i know i said i'm no longer a suicidal craphead, which is completely true, i don't want to kill myself. However, i still want to kill my father...and i'm not asking for hugs and i'm not asking for anybody to feel "sorry for me." I just need advice. I need to be able to get through it without doing anything i'll regret. Unfortunately, the only place i can go right now is here.

So, my grades suck. I've got an F in one class and a D in another. Not because i'm dumb, i'm just lazy and those classes are the hardest classes i've ever taken in my life. My parents told me i had to get a bunch of missing assignments done and turned in to my teacher by 5 o'clock today. And my teacher also had to send them an e-mail before 5 or i was grounded. Well i got them all finished and turned in today. And my teacher didn't get the e-mail out yet, because right after he finishes at my school, he goes and teaches at a college. So now i'm grounded.
Now normally, being grounded wouldn't be that big a deal, but i'm a HUGE gamer, and most of my friends are online. When i am feeling down, i go online and kill some stuff or get on my Xbox and shoot some covenant scum, or i grind quests and talk to friends. That's how i mellow out. Well, i'm pissed and i'm grounded from all the things that calm me down. So i'm just really really pissed. And when i try to talk to my piece of crap father, he won't let me say anything, like my words are useless. He always tries to play God around me. He acts like he's god and i'm his little peon. I have no independence, no freedom, all i can do is stay shackled in as i plot his destruction.
And that's exactly what i'm doing. I'm thinking of all the ways i can get rid of him. I'm so damn tired of his crap, and it has to stop one way or another.
I can't stay after school and talk to the counselor, i've got other responsibilities to take home. I can't go get any sort of proffessional help because i'm broke as crap and so are my parents.
But here's what i do have. I've got a pocket knife, not sharp, but it can pierce muscle tissue. I've got a lighter. And i've got some good friends that i see at school who own handguns. I've got my GF, the only reason i haven't gone postal. And the last two things i have, i'm losing. My pride, and my self-restraint.

Now, if i stab him, i go to jail. If i burn my house down, i go to jail. If i shoot him, i go to jail. My girlfriend i only get to see at school, and only in small doses. Oh, and i'm 17 so if i go to jail, they'll definately try me as an adult and i'll get sent to the big kid jail.

My best option, in my mind, is to run. I can get the hell out of here and never come back. Sure, the cops will look for me, but i know where to hide and if they find me, oh well, i'll just run again and again until it works. Maybe if i'm gone he'll understand. Maybe the loss of a son can break through that icy, black, barrier of hatred that surrounds his heart. Maybe.

So, these are my thoughts, and they won't go away. I wouldn't be posting this if i thought i could take it for another day. I need advice. What can i do? My mind is too clouded with hatred to make smart decisions. How can i survive living with him until college? I've got a year and a half to go until i can leave for college. I can't wait that long. There's no way. And please don't tell me, "Just work harder and get good grades." Yeah, thanks i've heard that one before. I'm working harder than i've ever worked for a single class before, and like i said, i've never had classes this tough. Better grades would require either sleeping with my teachers whose classes i'm failing, both of which are over 40 years old and one of them is a dude...

*sigh*

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62941

[Red Squirrel]

Don't harm them since you will regret it, but I can feel your frustration. If you really feel like revenge there are other things you could do that are not harmful (such as corrupt their email inbox and refuse to do anything when they ask for help fixing it), but do not revert to harmful stuff.


Also as hard as it may be, give an effort to pass those classes, or you'll just end up having to retake them, doubling its boringness/hardness.

At the end when you graduate you'll be happy you gave that extra effort so you don't have to take it again.

Also, school is the hardest part of life, once you're done, you're a free man and you can play all the WoW you want after you finish a work day. No homework, no grades, no assignments. Maybe less time, but the time you DO have, will be yours.

It's been a few months that I've been working full time and done school and what I can say so far is, you do have way less time , and theres no "spares" or "hanging out with friends", BUT, when you get home at the end of the day, the few hours left of that day are yours to do whatever you want. Weekends are also yours to do what you want. I don't even think about my job during the weekend, as opposed to when I was in college I'd be stressing out about stuff.

So do an effort to do well in school so you can get a job and be free. As fun as it sounds, you DON'T want to end up jobless and be a stay at home person. (specially if you hate your parents to the point where you think of killing them lol)

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62942

[Chyse]

Don't harm them since you will regret it, but I can feel your frustration.  If you really feel like revenge there are other things you could do that are not harmful (such as corrupt their email inbox and refuse to do anything when they ask for help fixing it), but do not revert to harmful stuff. 


Also as hard as it may be, give an effort to pass those classes, or you'll just end up having to retake them, doubling its boringness/hardness.

At the end when you graduate you'll be happy you gave that extra effort so you don't have to take it again.

Also, school is the hardest part of life, once you're done, you're a free man and you can play all the WoW you want after you finish a work day.  No homework, no grades, no assignments.  Maybe less time, but the time you DO have, will be yours.

It's been a few months that I've been working full time and done school and what I can say so far is, you do have way less time , and theres no "spares" or "hanging out with friends", BUT, when you get home at the end of the day, the few hours left of that day are yours to do whatever you want.  Weekends are also yours to do what you want.  I don't even think about my job during the weekend, as opposed to when I was in college I'd be stressing out about stuff.

So do an effort to do well in school so you can get a job and be free.  As fun as it sounds, you DON'T want to end up jobless and be a stay at home person.  (specially if you hate your parents to the point where you think of killing them lol)

*sigh* it's nice to finally hear that school IS harder than work. My parents keep telling me it's going to get harder, cause they think they've got it bad or some crap.

My problem is, i need more motivation. I need to be more motivated to put down the mouse and keyboard and pick up the Pre-cal book. I know i need to, but it's almost impossible to bring myself to studying instead of doing something i can actually enjoy.
And them grounding me from games only makes me want to do my work less. IDK what they're thinking it's going to do for me.

Red, i see your point and i've thought about it before. I know in my mind that i need to get good grades so i can do well later on in life, but i can't seem to get myself into studying.

And college sounds like it will be much much better than high school. I'm told high school is like combat boots and college is like sandals, lol. yeah, college will probably be harder, but i'll be....free....

But still, i've got 4 more years of studying after this year and a half is over...

i don't know...i just need something to rekindle my want to learn so i can start doing better, even just for this final stretch of my crappy school years before i go to college.

Any ideas?

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62943

[Red Squirrel]

And yeah college is better, so look forward to that. If you get lucky you'll get an awesome schedule with afternoons off or maybe even full days off. One semister I had fridays off, and every day I was out of there by like 2:30. Though you can get screwed over and get like a 8:30 class, then a 11:30 class then a 3:30 class, but teachers are flexible and they'll switch schedules around if they can.


Also work might have its own difficulties so its not a walk in the park, but the fact that there's a purpose behind what you do, and you get paid for it, kind of makes up for it.

Ex: I take help desk calls, and some calls may be hard to trouble shoot and what not, but at least the work I'm doing has a purpose, in the end I end up helping someone with a problem and they're happy after. School, you work your ass off on some assignment, but it has no use in the end. The only use is long term, and thats getting diploma and job after many years. But just try to look at it positively. Once you hit college time flies, so enjoy the good times you have with friends on school property (hanging out durring spares, etc) since at work you don't have that.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62944

[manadren]

If you hate your fatherhome life so much, you might want to think about school clubsextra-curricular activities and possibly getting a job. Seriously. If it's school related or job experience, your parents really can't complain, and it gets you out of the house to cool your head.

As for sparking interest in your school work. That's a bit harder to tell you how to do. I suppose you can look at a topic you are interested in, and then try to link it back to the the subjects you are studying in general terms. I don't know I'm kinda grasping a straws here.

Part of the thing is, that school doesn't only teach you facts and formulas. A big part of what school does is teach you how to think. Math teaches you about logic. Science teaches you methodology. History gives you the background of the present, but also a broad look into human nature. English teaches you how to effectively use language and to analyze what other people say. Art and music teaches you to look at the world around you in different ways. And these are all things that you do use everyday, and will stick with you much longer than the quadratic formula, or A Tale of Two Cities.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62945

[Chyse]

If you hate your fatherhome life so much, you might want to think about school clubsextra-curricular activities and possibly getting a job. Seriously. If it's school related or job experience, your parents really can't complain, and it gets you out of the house to cool your head.

As for sparking interest in your school work. That's a bit harder to tell you how to do. I suppose you can look at a topic you are interested in, and then try to link it back to the the subjects you are studying in general terms. I don't know I'm kinda grasping a straws here.

Part of the thing is, that school doesn't only teach you facts and formulas. A big part of what school does is teach you how to think. Math teaches you about logic. Science teaches you methodology. History gives you the background of the present, but also a broad look into human nature. English teaches you how to effectively use language and to analyze what other people say. Art and music teaches you to look at the world around you in different ways. And these are all things that you do use everyday, and will stick with you much longer than the quadratic formula, or A Tale of Two Cities.

I've been looking for a job for a long time, and i haven't found anybody who will hire me =(

School may teach you how to think, but the way it is presented is terrible. I wasn't meant to sit in a desk for 8 hours a day, taking notes and spitting out information. But that's what society accepts as smart and that's what gets you into college.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62947

[manadren]

If you hate your fatherhome life so much, you might want to think about school clubsextra-curricular activities and possibly getting a job. Seriously. If it's school related or job experience, your parents really can't complain, and it gets you out of the house to cool your head.

As for sparking interest in your school work. That's a bit harder to tell you how to do. I suppose you can look at a topic you are interested in, and then try to link it back to the the subjects you are studying in general terms. I don't know I'm kinda grasping a straws here.

Part of the thing is, that school doesn't only teach you facts and formulas. A big part of what school does is teach you how to think. Math teaches you about logic. Science teaches you methodology. History gives you the background of the present, but also a broad look into human nature. English teaches you how to effectively use language and to analyze what other people say. Art and music teaches you to look at the world around you in different ways. And these are all things that you do use everyday, and will stick with you much longer than the quadratic formula, or A Tale of Two Cities.

I've been looking for a job for a long time, and i haven't found anybody who will hire me =(

School may teach you how to think, but the way it is presented is terrible. I wasn't meant to sit in a desk for 8 hours a day, taking notes and spitting out information. But that's what society accepts as smart and that's what gets you into college.

There's always someone who will hire you for a job it's just a matter of what the job is, and who does the hiring. Everyone has to get hired for their first job, it's just that often times the first job is kinda crappy. A word from experience. Lowe's will hire just about anyone in the springtime. And now that Christmas is coming soon, there's a lot of retail stores looking for help wherever they can find it. Still, even if you still have trouble finding work, there's always school clubs. Maybe you won't be able to make the football team, but there are a lot of other clubs and activities that won't be able to turn you away. Back when I was in high school, I was in band. I also spent some time in ACE and Cretamen (academic quiz teams). You're bound to find something vaguely interesting if you look around a bit.

You're kinda right about school in general though. Though different teachers can be better. Some of my history teachers actually made it fun to sit in class, because instead of just dictating facts they would relate interesting stories and tidbits about the subject at hand. A really good teacher, doesn't really dictate, but rather leads a conversation on a topic, and you'll see a lot more of that in college. But still, you can find a lot of interesting stuff in what's taught in classes if you look deeper into the subject than simply what you need to know for the test. And it's a lot easier to regurgitate facts when you have an grasp of the context.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62950

[Red Squirrel]

Yeah the whole school system is messed. Most wont really help you with specific work force task, but it WILL help you deal with stress, and pressure, etc... thats about all its good for really.

I look at my server setup and stuff at home, then look at stuff I've done at school... if I would have spent all my life at home screwing around with the stuff I like rather then go to school, I'd know 10 times more then I do now.

But school is what they look for so have to concentrate on that, unfortunatly.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62951

[Chyse]

If you hate your fatherhome life so much, you might want to think about school clubsextra-curricular activities and possibly getting a job. Seriously. If it's school related or job experience, your parents really can't complain, and it gets you out of the house to cool your head.

As for sparking interest in your school work. That's a bit harder to tell you how to do. I suppose you can look at a topic you are interested in, and then try to link it back to the the subjects you are studying in general terms. I don't know I'm kinda grasping a straws here.

Part of the thing is, that school doesn't only teach you facts and formulas. A big part of what school does is teach you how to think. Math teaches you about logic. Science teaches you methodology. History gives you the background of the present, but also a broad look into human nature. English teaches you how to effectively use language and to analyze what other people say. Art and music teaches you to look at the world around you in different ways. And these are all things that you do use everyday, and will stick with you much longer than the quadratic formula, or A Tale of Two Cities.

I've been looking for a job for a long time, and i haven't found anybody who will hire me =(

School may teach you how to think, but the way it is presented is terrible. I wasn't meant to sit in a desk for 8 hours a day, taking notes and spitting out information. But that's what society accepts as smart and that's what gets you into college.

There's always someone who will hire you for a job it's just a matter of what the job is, and who does the hiring. Everyone has to get hired for their first job, it's just that often times the first job is kinda crappy. A word from experience. Lowe's will hire just about anyone in the springtime. And now that Christmas is coming soon, there's a lot of retail stores looking for help wherever they can find it. Still, even if you still have trouble finding work, there's always school clubs. Maybe you won't be able to make the football team, but there are a lot of other clubs and activities that won't be able to turn you away. Back when I was in high school, I was in band. I also spent some time in ACE and Cretamen (academic quiz teams). You're bound to find something vaguely interesting if you look around a bit.

I've already had my first job. I worked at Dairy Queen from september to late november a year ago. I HATED it. My boss was the biggest bitch on earth, and every day i felt like i was going to puke and take a crap made of blood at the same time. I absolutely hated it. Then i got fired because i had to attend a few events on weekends for band. and i get docked points if i'm not there, so it was for grades. i had to miss work for school, and i got fired for it. so F my old boss and F dairy queen.
I'm already in Band and Ctec (our robotics/engineering club).

Yeah, the school system sucks hard. And the whole sitting in class quietly while listening to some teacher talk is geared much more towards girls than guys. They did some study about it, and found that for the most part, girls learn way better in that kind of a situation than guys do. =/

And like, why do i have to learn about U.S. History? And why do i need to take Religion class? I don't care who the Union General who fought Lee in Antietam (McClellan). I don't care what pope moved the center of the church back to Rome, ending the Avignon papacy in 1377 (Pope Gregory XI). I don't care, i'll never use that crap and all it does is clutter up my mind with unless crap.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62952

[Red Squirrel]

Yeah avoid the fast food places. I still think thats one of the hardest jobs, I've never done it, but just when I see how fast those people need to move, and customers get mad because of mistakes, etc... not to mention low pay.

I LOVE my current job compared to that. Not only do I do 4 times the money, but I can actually sit down in a semi quiet environment, and not time pressed to the point where seconds too long make customers mad.

And at the end of a tech support call I say "I'll put in a ticket" instead of "want fries with that?"

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62955

[Stasi]

*sigh*... what to say, what to say....

And you thought I was being a dick when I pointed out your dad overreacted to some trivial thing a while back, and so on.

Yes, life does get harder after high school. It's not so much the school as having to make it on your own in the broader scope of life - bills, career, etc. As for not caring about learning history - if you choose to be ignorant about history, then you choose to be ignorant about the present. Sure, you may not need that information for everyday situations, but just understand that if you choose to be ignorant, your opinions lose significant value. And yes, not all opinions are of equal value, I don't care what any spineless, sheltered idealist says.

The problem is, some of us can give "grown-up" advice here, but you probably won't accept or understand it - most people wouldn't at your age because at least half of it has to be learned through making mistakes or learning from others' mistakes. Especially if you're upset, you'll rationalize your anger and come up with reasons why each bit of advice doesn't apply to your unique situation. In any case, quit gaming for a while. I did that a little while back. Sure, I don't socialize with those folks much any more outside of work, but I'm a hell of a lot more productive and actually feel more satisfied with the use of my free time. After a little while, you'll wonder why you wanted to put off other priorities just to level up or achieve some other near-meaningless goal. That would require you finding a different outlet for your frustrations, and so forth. Try writing or drawing. Whether it's poetry, short stories, etc., it can be very therapeutic, and give you something tangible that you can be proud of. Also, talk to yourself. Don't care what other inhibited idiots say, talking to yourself is not stupid or crazy. It's a great way to have a "discussion" with yourself and reason your way through your thoughts and talk yourself down from heavy emotional states.

One last note. If you post more violent threats against people on internet forums, you're liable to have the cops come knocking at your door and really make things worse, so spare yourself that drama, and the spectators from the quandry as to whether or not they should call 5-0 on you.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62956

[Chyse]

Yeah, Red, that's why i'm DYING to be at a non-fast food place. But my parents don't care how bad it is, i don't think they realize. My dad's first job was working on cars in his dad's company. So, he never had that kind of experience, my mom was the same way, she skipped the crappy jobs and went straight to the better ones. They keep telling me, "Any job is better than no job, no matter how terrible it is." Yeah, that's true when you have responsibilities like taxes and bills and children. I have none of those. Yes, it'd be nice to be able to pay for my own gas etc. but it's not worth being miserable and only getting $6 per hour.

Stasi, i was offended by what you said about my father because he's my father and it's like talking bad about somebody's kid. They can say stuff about their own kid, because they do love their kid, but when you say it, it's very rude and mean. Same thing applied with my dad.

I don't need history to have political opinions that have strong foundations based on facts. I can research my own information. If i want to debate gay marriage or talk about it, i'm going to research it. Otherwise, i'm going to shut my mouth and not say a word. The people you're talking about are the people who state their opinions before preaching them. I'm not that kind of person. For instance, when we learned about Abortion in religion class last year, i started off being undecided on abortion because i'd never cared enough to research it. so when people asked me how i felt, i'd say, "idk, i'm undecided." After the class, i knew a lot more, and now i'm leaning towards pro-life, but i still don't have enough information to commit to a side and make an informed decision.

And when have i said in any of this that what somebody said doesn't apply to me? It all applies to me. I'm lazy, i need to change. And yeah, i should stop gaming. I haven't played WoW in over 4 days, and i've only been playing CSS a little. I just need more motivation.

i'll finish this today when i get a chance.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62970

[Stasi]

Stasi, i was offended by what you said about my father because he's my father and it's like talking bad about somebody's kid. They can say stuff about their own kid, because they do love their kid, but when you say it, it's very rude and mean. Same thing applied with my dad.

It's more "ok" to make violent threats about someone, or bash on them if you "love them"? Sure, there's a bit of "don't bash on someone you don't know" type of thing I was guilty of, but based on what you've indicated here, my observation was accurate, and thus not contrived out of foolish malice. I've always thought it funny how people can be so much more cruel to those they supposedly love than those they don't. As OJ Simpson once said (or something darn close), "If I did kill her, it would have been because I loved her, right?"

I don't need history to have political opinions that have strong foundations based on facts. I can research my own information. If i want to debate gay marriage or talk about it, i'm going to research it. Otherwise, i'm going to shut my mouth and not say a word. The people you're talking about are the people who state their opinions before preaching them. I'm not that kind of person. For instance, when we learned about Abortion in religion class last year, i started off being undecided on abortion because i'd never cared enough to research it. so when people asked me how i felt, i'd say, "idk, i'm undecided." After the class, i knew a lot more, and now i'm leaning towards pro-life, but i still don't have enough information to commit to a side and make an informed decision.

I don't buy it, at least with respect to discussing social/political issues. Having a broad understanding of history puts all kinds of things into perspective, which doesn't quite happen so well if you research on a narrow topic. But whatever. To each their own, I guess. It's one of those things you don't quite realize until you start having epiphanies about something based on some indirectly related "useless" knowledge.

And when have i said in any of this that what somebody said doesn't apply to me? It all applies to me. I'm lazy, i need to change. And yeah, i should stop gaming. I haven't played WoW in over 4 days, and i've only been playing CSS a little. I just need more motivation.

When did anyone say you said [blah blah blah]. I was simply stating what seems to be the norm when someone in your circumstance is faced with constructive advice. If you're not quite like that, congratulations. And if you want to improve yourself with regards to your laziness and lack of motivation, that all has to come from within. You can be externally motivated, but it doesn't last. Ask yourself whether or not you'd be happier being lazy or not being lazy, write up a self-improvement plan (i.e. something with measurable goals for the near and long-terms), and seriously work towards it. You don't have to give up gaming completely. Just start enjoying it for what it is - entertainment for killing time - not as a crutch to fulfill some social need or outlet for frustration.

i'll finish this today when i get a chance.

What is there to finish?

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[Chyse]

It's more "ok" to make violent threats about someone, or bash on them if you "love them"?  Sure, there's a bit of "don't bash on someone you don't know" type of thing I was guilty of, but based on what you've indicated here, my observation was accurate, and thus not contrived out of foolish malice.  I've always thought it funny how people can be so much more cruel to those they supposedly love than those they don't.  As OJ Simpson once said (or something darn close), "If I did kill her, it would have been because I loved her, right?"

We are mean to the ones we love because we have to be with them all the time. If i hadn't been living in my house for the past 17 years, i probably wouldn't hate my father as much and he'd probably hate me less too. And that's what was bothering me, you WERE bashing somebody that i cared about who you didn't know. And how can you conclude that what i'm saying is accurate? Maybe i'm just pissed off and not writing what really happened, just what i think will make my father look like a bad guy so my immense anger will subside?

I don't buy it, at least with respect to discussing social/political issues.  Having a broad understanding of history puts all kinds of things into perspective, which doesn't quite happen so well if you research on a narrow topic.  But whatever.  To each their own, I guess.  It's one of those things you don't quite realize until you start having epiphanies about something based on some indirectly related "useless" knowledge.

When you research, you don't just research the present, you research the history behind what you're trying to find out about.

When did anyone say you said [blah blah blah].  I was simply stating what seems to be the norm when someone in your circumstance is faced with constructive advice.  If you're not quite like that, congratulations.  And if you want to improve yourself with regards to your laziness and lack of motivation, that all has to come from within.  You can be externally motivated, but it doesn't last.  Ask yourself whether or not you'd be happier being lazy or not being lazy, write up a self-improvement plan (i.e. something with measurable goals for the near and long-terms), and seriously work towards it.  You don't have to give up gaming completely.  Just start enjoying it for what it is - entertainment for killing time - not as a crutch to fulfill some social need or outlet for frustration.

Well i can't seem to motivate myself at all, and all i need is short term motivation. I'll be out of high school in a year and a half.

What is there to finish?

...the bell just rang....

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62976

[Bookworm]

Goalgaurder, it's going to be really interesting if you ever have kids of your own.

Have my children ever hated me? Sure they have. One of them has even yelled out "I hate you" to me. What was I doing to get that response? I believe I was trying to get the child to get to bed at a decent time. I guess the child felt I was acting too much like a god and treating them like a peon. Sometimes a parent simply has to enforce some rules even if the child doesn't like them.

I have found that I sometimes go too quickly into "lecture" mode instead of letting the children communicate with me, and I have tried to do better at letting them talk instead of telling them right away how I see the situation. Of course, kids also have to learn to just let the parents "lecture" at times instead of getting all upset and hateful.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62988

[flowergirlajg]

GG-
my advice is to run away for a week or so, let your parents go postal, and come back. Don't tell anybody what your'e doing, or where your going, not even your girlfriend. If you have to tell somebody, move in with a friend for a while. Don't kill anyone. Please. We like you. We dont want you confined to a 4x5 box all day and night. And remember, somwhere in your father's heart, he loves you. We love you here. Okay? Please remember that, and dont get yourself in trouble, even if it is for the sake of you mother. Thanks GG. Good luck.

Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:3428, old post ID:62990

[Chyse]

Goalgaurder, it's going to be really interesting if you ever have kids of your own.

Have my children ever hated me? Sure they have. One of them has even yelled out "I hate you" to me. What was I doing to get that response? I believe I was trying to get the child to get to bed at a decent time. I guess the child felt I was acting too much like a god and treating them like a peon. Sometimes a parent simply has to enforce some rules even if the child doesn't like them.

I have found that I sometimes go too quickly into "lecture" mode instead of letting the children communicate with me, and I have tried to do better at letting them talk instead of telling them right away how I see the situation. Of course, kids also have to learn to just let the parents "lecture" at times instead of getting all upset and hateful.

Bookworm, i understand that he has to enforce the rules, and thats fine with me, if he was consistent about it. If he actually enforced the rules all the time instead of just when he was upset, then i wouldn't be so pissed at him. He doesn't know how to be firm and consistent with rules. He refuses to do the work and listen to my arguing and just take my computer away, the TV away, all my gaming consoles away, everything, until my grades get better. That would do it. That would get my grades up. But no, here i am on my computer.
He doesn't realize that what he has to do to set me straight, will be the hardest thing for him to do, and that's parenting. Yeah, it'd hurt him in the short term, but when i go to Rose Hulman and graduate as an amazing engineer, then get my masters at MIT, and i come home and tell him "Thanks Dad," that would be worth it. That's what parenting is about. Sacrificing yourself for the good of your kids. And he apparently is not willing to do that, or he doesn't understand that.

If he really wants me to get better grades, he needs to push even harder. And though i'll push back as hard as i can, in the end (and though i hate to admit it) he can push harder than i can. Because he owns the car, he owns the house and everything inside it, and according to law, he owns me. So if i leave, the cops will be on me.
I can't seem to motivate myself, so that's what parents are supposed to do; get you back on track, help you fix your life, even if you don't want to, they know better than you do.
I need him to take control of my life and force me to fix it, because i'm an idiot 17 year old and i can't do it by myself.

Thanks flower, that helps. But running away would only cause more trouble.

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[flowergirlajg]

Hmmm... lets see. Act alll creepy for like a month, listen to like Korn, Slipknot, Marylin Manson, ect... and then, at the end of the month, show up at dinner wearing pink. Dont ask me.
Please.

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[Red Squirrel]

I never believed in punishing over grades. It's not like its your fault if you're having trouble.

Unless you're neglecting to try, but if you're trying your hardest and still failing, then its not your fault. Some subjects are just too damn hard these days. They keep making school harder and harder now. Now that I finished school I realize how retarded the school system is.

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[Chyse]

I never believed in punishing over grades.  It's not like its your fault if you're having trouble.

Unless you're neglecting to try, but if you're trying your hardest and still failing, then its not your fault.  Some subjects are just too damn hard these days.  They keep making school harder and harder now.  Now that I finished school I realize how retarded the school system is.

I'm not trying as hard as i should be.

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[scherzo]

When i am feeling down, i go online and kill some stuff or get on my Xbox and shoot some covenant scum, or i grind quests and talk to friends. That's how i mellow out

Here is your ultimate fault, your escapes are provided via your family. There is nothing you can do but comply, your suggestions of 'stabbing, burning, and running' have the same result as not doing anything.

you have two choices - weather the storm or practice an escape that isn't provided by your family.

furthermore, suicidal tendencies and thoughts of physical threats are to be treated seriously. They are still illegal and you are putting yourself in a position where someone can/will make a decision for you. I wouldn't hand over these freedoms so easily.

suggestions, as I'm not unsympathetic, would be to focus on ONE escape that you enjoy, if you could only have one which would it be?

Now normally, being grounded wouldn't be that big a deal, but i'm a HUGE gamer, and most of my friends are online. When i am feeling down, i go online and kill some stuff or get on my Xbox and shoot some covenant scum, or i grind quests and talk to friends. That's how i mellow out. Well, i'm pissed and i'm grounded from all the things that calm me down

when you are satisfied on your choice, you can begin to form an argument, which highlights the benefits, and advantages. You might be able to compromise and show maturity by voluntarily giving up all others. Parents are human, and as such will listen to reason, if an argument can be demonstrated properly. They can draw from there own experiences, how well does someone perform at work after working 12 hrs straight etc. etc. - The point here is people need to relax after working and the choices of how to relax are the persons, and not someone else's. It is important to note that in your argument to avoid emotions. However after you have finished the rational aspect, then focus your attention on the 'feelings' - we are not robots ( something my girlfiend has reminded me many times).



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[Gubs]

I've been looking for a job for a long time, and i haven't found anybody who will hire me =(

There are always jobs out there. One thing that people look for when hiring is persistence, along with many other things. A good thing to do is to send in a job application, call the hiring manager the next day and schedule a interview and a drug test. After that, call the next day and see how things are going and what is happening. 2-3 days later call back and ask whats up. But, i'm sure you already know this, use friendly, nice voice when calling so it doesn't seem like you're pissed that they haven't called you back yet.

College and work are easier, but don't do anything out of anger or frustration. Trust me, dropping out of highschool could be one of the worse things you can do in life. Even though you don't see your GF everyday it could help to talk to her for a few minutes and let her know you still love her. Because having someone next to you, that loves you makes you 10x more motivated to graduate.
I was going out with this girl for about 10-11 months and there was this one time when I got frustrated and really depressed. She thought this was her fault, that I stopped caring for her and that I didn't love her anymore. This was not true. I didn't communicate with her to tell her that this was just a difficult time and that me being depressed was not her fault. I regret that moment because I did love her and I didn't communicating with her. That made her depressed and she told me that she could not go through that again.

Just keep your chin up, stay tough, stay with your girl and ignore some of the stuff your dad says.

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[fragged one]

kill your parents then kill yourself.

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[manadren]

Hey, Fragged! It's been ages. How've you been?

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[Lamez]

fragged that is a little harsh don't you think?



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