Record!

Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 4:09 pm

The telemarketter waited over 2 minutes this time!

I put them on hold if I accidentally answer when it's a telemarketter. hehe. I need to test various musics to see how it affects their wait time. I think the star wars music was kind of catchy so the person stayed on longer.

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Mr Smith · Post by **Mr Smith** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 7:41 pm

When my family get a telamarketer my dad farts into the phone or talks like an arabian guy. 9 out of 10 telamarket agencies now have a restraining order against my family.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 9:45 pm

hahaha!

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Mr Smith · Post by **Mr Smith** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:08 pm

What I'm serious.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 6:59 pm

I need to get one of those phone music players so I can put them on hold and there's music that plays, and they don't hear me typing and stuff, I bet they'd wait longer since it would look more legit. Unless I use music like mcafee support does, or worse, sonicwall.

the most slow holding music I have ever heard.

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Bookworm · Post by **Bookworm** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:01 pm

Then every so often interrupt the music with a voice saying, "Please continue holding. A family member will be with you shortly."

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:02 pm

hahaha. "your call is important to us"

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Jack Potato · Post by **Jack Potato** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 1:25 am

press 1 for english.
press 2 for some other language.
press 3 if you are old.
press 4 if you are tired of me pausing after each word.

lol

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 1:40 am

OMG I should have a menu like that.

Thank you for contacting the Auclair's residents. Our menus have changed to improve service, please listen carefuly.

If you are calling on behalf of a non profit organization seeking donations, press 1.

If you are calling on behalf of a profit organization seeking a customer, press 2.

If you know the extension of the person you are calling, press 3.

To hear this message again, press 4.

"presses number"

Please note your call may be monitored for quality assurance. A family member will be with you shortly.

*make them wait 2 minutes with music and "your call is important to us"*

Thanks for calling, how can I help you?

*starts going through spiel*

Can I have your customer number please before you continue?

*confused, telemarketer hangs up, or ingores request*

You know, this could be very fun.

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Jack Potato · Post by **Jack Potato** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 1:44 am

awhile ago some survey people called and had a lawyer survey. i was bored, so i did it. near the end of the survey they asked me this "offensive" question. they asked what my "color" was. here goes:
press 1 if you are white.
press 2 if you are black.
press 3 if you are hispanic.
press 4 if you are albino.
press 5 if you are "other".

naurally, i hit 5.

ok i made up the albino part but everything else is true.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 2:00 am

That's bad they would ask that though. That's when you answer something silly like green.

When they incist you tell them you have this sickness that causes your skin to be green.

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Mr Smith · Post by **Mr Smith** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 11:11 am

I call to order something off the phone...
press 1 if your are caucaqsion.....
5 hours later.....
*person*Hello this is time life.
*me* PRESS ONE IF YOU WANT ME TO TELL TIME LIFE TO SHOVE IT UP ITS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Clueless · Post by **Clueless** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 12:09 pm

when they start talking order a pizza, and tell them you want it there in 10 minutes or you're not paying, then hang up

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 12:52 pm

OMG I need to do that with a telemarketter. Act like they're ordering a pizza. So at the end of the spiel. "ok so that's 3 medium supremes, one with extra peperoni, breadsticks..."

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Mr Smith · Post by **Mr Smith** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 3:38 pm

Man with the restraining order and all, they never call so I can't mess with them.

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Jack Potato · Post by **Jack Potato** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 4:03 pm

*SOMEWHERE AT A TELEMARKETER BUILDING...*
*man named jim cowers under desk...*
they-th-they were s-so SCARY! I-I didnt know what to do!
*man named bill* it's ok jim, you made it out alive...those people are weird...
*jim* yeah th-they talked like ARABIANS!!
*bill* but it'll be fine, we got a restraining order...
*jim sighs* i cant do this anymore bill...it's just too risky...
*bill* WHAT? but, jim, we need you on the force! who can those americans count on to call them non-stop? YOU. who can convince tom cruise to ADMIT he's gay? YOU, jim. you.

LOL

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Clueless · Post by **Clueless** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 5:18 pm

FUN WITH TELEMARKETERS!
1) Talk really fast.

2) Make up your own language. Speak it.

3) Make up a one word language. Speak it.

4) Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear them over the static.

5) Say, "This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have an emergency?" If they say "Yes" say, "Please state the nature of the emergency." Then insist that their emergency isn't an emergency.If they say "No" say, "I'm sorry but this line is for emergencies only."

6) Pretend that you are a hostage negotiator, and try to get the telemarketer to release the hostages.

7) Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a meatball sub.

8) Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing.

9) Communicate only through Morse code.

10) Talk to the telemarketer. During the conversation dial the phone, and ask for Bill. Do this repeatedly.

11) Try to sell the telemarketer something.

12) Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like, "They'll never catch me again," "No! Not the jacket! No, no, no!" After saying one of these mutter incoherently.

13) Make him/her sing to get a sale.If a male sings, claim that he sounds like Britney Spears.If a female sings, claim that she sounds like Barry White.

14) Pretend to be really interested. Then say, "No."

15) Say nothing until he/she hangs up.

16) Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number.Claim that you need some time to think, and that you'll get back to them.

17) Say, "Yes" to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 5:57 pm

Hahhaha

I like the emergency one. I should try this.

LOL or "you have reached, 9.....1....1, that's......9....1....1.

*small delay*

"All of our operators are curently busy, please leave a message at the sound of the long beep.

beep .......beep .......beep .......beep .......beep .......Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

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Clueless · Post by **Clueless** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 8:53 pm

lol one time my friend put the phone up to a toilet, poured a cup of water in and flushed it, the telemarketer was like "GROSS!!!" and hung up

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 03, 2005 9:00 pm

Hahahahahaha!

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Joe · Post by **Joe** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:24 pm

You: Hello
telemarketter: hi would you be interested in blah blah blah
You: I'd love to talk more about this. Could you give me your home phone number and i'll call you later.
Them: I'm sorry i can't do that
You: yes. you don't want me, a total stranger, bugging you at home. Well know you know how i feel.
hang up

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 10:34 pm

haha

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Mr Smith · Post by **Mr Smith** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:43 pm

HAHA!

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Thatblondeguy · Post by **Thatblondeguy** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:46 pm

haha thats good. oh, and if you do the pizza thing, say you want pepperoni, then you say a bunch of other toppings then at the end say "remember, no pepperoni" ( it works better with pizza guys)

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:48 pm

hahaha get's them confused.

It's like mcdonalds if you ask for two combos but one with a diet coke they get confused and usually screw up the order.

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