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Bill: Alright the chair costs $2000. So you have give me $1200.
Matthew: No, half of $2000 is $1000.
Bill: I think you need to get yourself a calculator my friend.
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1528, old post ID:20505
Speaking of screwing up in math, did anyone see the movie "open water"? I just finished watching it.
Moral of story: If you suck at math and are organizer on any water activity, you'll end up causing people to get eaten by sharks since you'll miss count how many people are on the boat and leave with people missing.
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1528, old post ID:20507
Honk if you love Jesus, text if you want to meet Him!
Bill: "If Jimmy tells us to tighten our belts, well I just say, 'How tight?'"
Dave: "Do you now?"
Bill: "Yes, I do. I say, 'Cinch it up nice and snug, sir. I can take it.'"
Dave: "Really?"
Bill: "You're damn right. Why back in the early days of radio, all they had were jungle drums beating the rhythmic message of traffic and weather from village to village. But did they complain?"
Dave: "Hell no."
Bill: "Do you hear me complaining?"
Dave: "Hell no! 'Cause you got a massive, secret raise that caused all these problems in the first place."
Bill: "Exactly."
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1528, old post ID:20515
Bill: "How come no one thinks I'm funny?"
Lisa: "How come no one thinks I'm female?"
Bill: "We're misunderstood, I suppose. That's why guys like you and me gotta hang together."
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1528, old post ID:20516
BILL: "I say we just tough it out."
DAVE: "Bill, correct me if I'm wrong but the the last time Mr. James tried to cut the fat around here, you said, and I quote, "I will drink water from the toilet like a dog before I pay for my own sodas."
BILL: "My essential position is the same."
DAVE: "No, in fact it's the complete opposite."
BILL: "Yes, and opposites attract, don't they?"
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1528, old post ID:20519
"...Now available in vanilla nut flavor. So for a tasty treat that good to eat, try Soylent Green. Soylent Green is people. Soylent Green. Made from the best stuff on Earth... People!"
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1528, old post ID:20520