Cute pure white squirrel

Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:15 pm

http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/html/The-...o-Squirrel.html

So cute, I just want to pet it.

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Death · Post by **Death** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:28 pm

Wow, albino squirrel! That thing's adorable. Must get a lot of lady squirrels.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:33 pm

Hehe yeah, All the chipmunks probably try to flirt with it too.

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Death · Post by **Death** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:36 pm

Probably beats the crap out of the chipmunks and steals their nuts. Looks like the kind of squirrel that can run through a freeway and cause a pileup, then goes home and eats a bunch of crickets while laughing.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:37 pm

Hehe yeah, it's actually pretty big too.

Could probably survive a suicide transformer explosion. Hmm would not be a suicide anymore though.

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Death · Post by **Death** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:38 pm

Might grow bigger from all the radiation. Hmmmm maybe he's like powder. His mother was hit by a bolt of lightning as she was about to give birth and now he's albino and stuff

.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:40 pm

And he has super powers!

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Death · Post by **Death** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 6:43 pm

You ever see that movie? It has a big ass jacob's ladder. That thing was awesome. Oh, and a neat scene with spoons flying across the room...

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richardj · Post by **richardj** » Fri Dec 09, 2005 7:17 pm

Nearly everyone on LSU's campus has heard about the infamous "albino squirrel" that lives in the clock tower adjacent to the Parade Grounds. Rumor has it that this cute, diminutive creature possesses special, enchanting powers: Witnesses of the cuddly animal supposedly fall in love with the next person they see. If you smear the squirrel's feces on your body (by the way, squirrels poop too), then legend has it that you turn invisible for approximately one hour. I've also heard that if you run around the clock tower with two roosters (one dead, one alive) tied around your neck, yelling, "Take me oh Albino One!" the great squirrel will invite you in for some tea and crumpets. Well, I'm here to clear all this B.S. up! This crap about the albino squirrel, NOT TRUE! This may come as a surprise to many, but I kid you not. I know from first hand experience that the great squirrel is a fraud, and this is my story: It all started many-moons ago when I was at LSU's Spring Testing. I was sitting out near the Quad, minding my own business when something fell on my head. It was a quarter. Looking around, I saw that there was no one in sight. I then look above my head, and to my surprise, I saw a small, white-colored squirrel sitting on a branch of a tree. It was actually a quite humorous situation: a white squirrel threw a quarter at me. Well, I chuckled and walked to the Union to go to a meeting. That was my first glimpse of the albino squirrel. Days later, I mentioned my sighting to a few friends of mine. After hearing my story, their eyes shined with envy. They mentioned that very few people actually get to witness the albino squirrel, and I was a lucky one. They then proceeded to tell me the legends of the great squirrel. I was amazed to hear such stories. I then set off on a mission to see the squirrel again. Two and a half weeks, I spent the worst two and a half weeks of my life camping out behind the clock tower waiting for him. Seventeen days and nights to catch another glimpse of the squirrel. I had finally had enough of it. I rolled my sleeping bag up, took down my tent, and deflated my rubber girlfriend and started to walk home. I didn't even get ten steps away from my campsite when, you guessed it, the great and almighty albino squirrel appeared before my very eyes. It was a truly amazing sight. I stood in awe as a single tear slowly rolled down my cheek. He stood there for maybe fifteen seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. I foolishly took a step closer to him, but he got frightened and ran away. At first, I was down-hearted, but to my delight, I saw that he left a heaping pile of albino squirrel crap. Remembering the legend that I had previously heard, I quickly dove on top of the foul matter, hoping to turn invisible. Desiring that the legend was true, I ran to the Student Union to test it out. At the very sight of me, spectators made revolting faces. Some girls even ran away in fear. I abruptly turned depressed to the thought that the "invisible crap" legend was false. They were merely making faces and running because I had squirrel poop all over me. I then ran home in shame and cried myself to sleep. The very next morning, I awoke to the thought that some legends can be false and others could be true. A smile grew on my face as I thought of the idea to test another squirrel legend out: Later that night, I walked to my local Circle K and bought two roosters, one dead and one alive. I used my shoelaces to tie the two cocks around my neck. After beating the cock to shut it up, I skipped merrily to the old clock tower. Upon arrival at the tower, I ran around for some three hours yelling at the top of my lungs, "Take me Oh Albino One! Take me Oh Albino One!" Did the "albino one" come out to greet me and invite me in for some tea and crumpets?!?! NO!!! Instead, I was greeted by campus police. When I refused to leave, State Troopers were called to the scene to haul my ass off to prison. Three months later, during my parole, I decided for one last time to take a visit with the squirrel to see if the legends were true. I sat outside of the clock tower on the steps for about five minutes. Whistling the theme to Jeopardy, I felt a tugging on my pants. I looked down to see the albino squirrel looking back up at me, but the little bastard had my wallet! That cock-face pick-pocketed me! He swiftly ran away. I tried chasing him, but his squirrelly legs were just too fast for me. The next morning, I went to campus police to report the little thief. After explaining my story, the rent-a-cop looked at me and said, "That's impossible. You must have been dreaming." At that very instant, the albino bastard crawled onto the officer's shoulder, and they both let out a hideously evil laugh. Well, that's my story of the albino squirrel. I wrote this article not to scare anyone, but to warn all who read it about the savage conspiracy which is occurring on LSU's campus. Now I know where campus police get all those nice cars and bikes, from the wallets of the unknowing victims of the albino squirrel. Please be cautious while walking around the clock tower, and remember: don't trust anyone or anything!

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Pyr-O-Rgasm · Post by **Pyr-O-Rgasm** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 12:50 am

WTF.

I like some of the small detials like the inflatable girlfriend.

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upload420 · Post by **upload420** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:12 am

i bet it has no trouble staying away from prey in the winter when it snows LOL.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:29 pm

lol no kidding, imagine trying to find that in winter.

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upload420 · Post by **upload420** » Wed Dec 14, 2005 8:58 pm

i hope the poor little bugger doesn't get ran over by a snow plow

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