Anything Forums

How many members of the Bush administration does it
take to change a light bulb?



Ten.


*
1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;
*
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the
light bulb needs to be changed;
*
3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light
bulb;
*
*4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are
either for changing the light bulb or for eternal
darkness;
*
5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to
Halliburton for the new light bulb;
*
6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a
janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner
'Bulb Accomplished';
*
7. One administration insider to resign and in detail
reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole
time;
*
8. One to viciously smear No. 7;
*
9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on
how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing
policy all along;

*
10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the
difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing
the country.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3707, old post ID:30111

The original name for Canada, dreamed up by a parliamentary committee in London, was "Cold North Dominion," but that waas too long, so they abbreviated it C.N.D. The King's Royal Governor presented the new name to the inhabitants, and they didn't say a word. Just looked at him.
"Well, what do you think?" asked the Royal Governor?
"C., eh?" said the first fellow, and just looked at the Governor.
"N., eh?" says the second guy.
"D., eh?" says a third one. Then silence.
"Hey," says the Governor. "I like that. It's a helluva lot easier to pronounce when you spell it that way."
So that's how Canada got its name.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3707, old post ID:30112

Paul Martin, Jack Layton, and Stephen Harper were all on a private jet together. Stephen Harper gets an idea. He says:"I'm gonna throw this $100 bill out the window, and make one Canadian really really happy."

Paul Martin doesn't want to be outdone, so he says:"I'll throw these two $50 bills out the window, and make two Canadians really really happy."

Jack Layton decides to go with the flow and says:"I'll throw these 100 loonies out the window, and make 100 Canadians really really happy."

At this point, the pilot comes through the door and says:"If you three don't shut the hell up right now, I'll throw all three of you out the window, and make 32 million Canadians really really happy."

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3707, old post ID:30113