I'm 50

[Red Squirrel]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend
$5,000
and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before
leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,
but how
old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the
very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."
The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug
store on
her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk
this burning
question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting
next to
her the same question.
He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when
I was
young, there was a sure way to tell
how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to
let me
put my
hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY
how old you
are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the
best of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel
around very
slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple.
He pushes
her breasts
together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old
am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands,
and says,
Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could
you
tell?'
The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3361, old post ID:27188

[Pyr-O-Rgasm]

RAWFULCOPTER! Funniness! That was great!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3361, old post ID:27191

[Death]

Hahaha, nothing like a wise old man on viagra.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3361, old post ID:27197