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"Our system just isn't setup for death"

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:06 pm
by Red Squirrel
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February
and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then
added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been
$0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to Citibank:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report
her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you . . . the
part about her being dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what
more I can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could
just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number
69."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3253, old post ID:26432

"Our system just isn't setup for death"

Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:09 pm
by Death
LOL, that's a good one :o

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3253, old post ID:26434

"Our system just isn't setup for death"

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 12:52 pm
by Streety
Somehow it even seems possible.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3253, old post ID:26443

"Our system just isn't setup for death"

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 3:45 pm
by Pyr-O-Rgasm
It is. As Red told us before, a dead lady was being sued for downloading illegal music.

People are idiots these days. Seriously Red, where the HELL do you get all of this class A pure grade stupidity from? God, I'd be entertained for years if I knew how you found this stuff! :banana:

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3253, old post ID:26444

"Our system just isn't setup for death"

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 4:06 pm
by Red Squirrel
Usually it's psoted on some other forum, or I feel bored and do a random google search. (this can be dangeraus if you use IE :P)

But it turns out the soap one is not real, I was sure it was real since that's what I was told. Still funny though. :lol:

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3253, old post ID:26445

"Our system just isn't setup for death"

Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 11:06 pm
by Pyr-O-Rgasm
Oh well, it's funny none-the-less.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3253, old post ID:26449