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I just had great idea for a game. It's similar to "Create a story", but instead, it's "Create breaking news". I start it off, and we keep adding on, just like news articles are. It's fun to quote people like Bill Gates and stuff... lol, google might spider this as a real news article, that would be funny! I'll start.


Jan 1st, 2000 - Redmon
Today, a horrible catastrophe has occured at Microsoft headquarters, in which a parking meter failed. "I knew the Y2K bug would affect us somehow" said Steve Balmer, CEO of Microsoft. "But why did it have to be a parking meter!", Microsoft stocks went down 78$ an hour after this occured.

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City Police are baffeled. The attending meter maid had this to say. "I was writing out a ticket for Mr. Gates, whose care was infront of the meter, and no matter how many quarters he put in, the status of the meter did not change, so I kept writing. Evenentually we had to have his car towed away. Opening up the meter later I found 2.5 million in quaters. Who the heck carries that kind of cash... in quarters even!"

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:225, old post ID:10614

After 10 city firemen helped bring the money into the truck, they noticed something in the meter, on the main counter chip. "It was odd, I could not make out what it said, but it did not look normal" said fire chief George. The device was later on turned in to the CIA for investigation.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:225, old post ID:10620

The CIA identified the device as an embedded audio player, with a drm protected sound file producing the "clink" sound made when you put in a quarter. Further investigation revealed that the "clink" sound had been owned by a RIAA member. Thusly the CIA has been sued for copyright infringement, the firemen have been jailed under the DMCA, and pliers, like the ones used to remove the device, have been outlawed as circumvention devices.

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The RIAA also sued Microsoft for US $67,456,256,642,567 for letting such a tragic event occur on their property and for supporting music piracy. Because a AOL fiber optic line passed within 10 metres of this parking meter, the RIAA also sued AOL for US $45,122,573 for not noticing this and failior to report illegal activity.

An AOL staff member who asked to be kept anonymous said "That fiber optic is currently out of service and is not considered as ours anymore, we did not want to break the 56 acre parking lot just to remove some old single mode fiber so we left it, we did not go near that meter and are not responsible for this!" but the RIAA declined to drop the charges, but rather upped them another million for AOL's rude reply.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:225, old post ID:10627

Following this, however, AOL realizes that with it's merger with Time Warner, it's now a part of the RIAA, so they promptly pay up, and give the money back to themselves. RIAA Officials has reportedly been seen smacking themselves in the head and saying "oh, right."

Microsoft settled with the RIAA for $65,535,000,000 under the condition that all subsequent microsoft products come plastered with ads for Brittany Spears and special music content. "I believe this agreement will help not only give the artist of that sound the royalties he deserves, but also provide microsoft customers with the exciting new features and content they desire."

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:225, old post ID:10635

Chairman Bill Gates also agreed it was best to not fight over such low ammount of money, and agreed it would be better, however, he was later on seen at a patent office but the reason was unconfirmed.


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It was later revieled that Microsoft had won a patent on patenting things, resulting in a volley of lawsuits against all competitors who were trying to patent things, calling them infringements on the newly aquired patent patent.

In an unrelated story, a number of patent lawyers have recently admitted themselves to mental institutions, supposedly because they said "patent" too many times. One lawyer was quoted as saying "patent, patent patent, patent patent." A class action lawsuit has been brought up on microsoft as a result, citing mental anguish brought about by the patent patent, patent, patent...

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The Global Legal Supreme Court of Earth (GLSCE) was also sued for holding a lawsuit having to do with patents. The Judge, 57 asked to be left unamed, was jailed for life in Microsoft's dungeon, where victims are delivertly forced to debug the latest version of Internet Explorer.

Citizens were horrified to hear of this cruality. Microsoft shares droped 0.02 cents immediatly after this court lawsuit. "We may be looking at a new great depression" said Mayor of Redmon.

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Microsoft countered this bit of bad publicity by slapping a new label on MS Office 2003 calling it Office 2004+ Ultra Platinum Edition for Windows XP, and stock prices doubled.

Bill Gates was quoted as saying "Oooh! Look over there! New Office! It's shiney!!!"

In a related story, Microsoft has annouced that their next Os money grab... I mean addition to their family of Operating Systems, Window XP Reloaded is running behind schedule. Sources close to microsoft have said that the windows machine with Photoshop on it crashed, and thusly it will take a bit longer to make the spiffy new logo, which comprises 90% of the "thousands of new features" in the update. Sources also say that the previous artist was promptly fired when he tried to sneak in a mac to create the logo.

Apple representatives had this to say...

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