Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:55 am
There was an Irish priest who lived right out in the boonies, miles from anywhere, in a place where all strangers were noticed and commented on. So, when he went out in the morning and found his bicycle missing, he knew only a local could have taken it.
At Mass that Sunday, he made it clear that he wouldn’t bear a grudge. “Whoever took it, just leave it outside the church, we’ll say no more about it.”
No bike appeared.
Next Sunday, he preached the same message.
No bike appeared.
The third Sunday, he was really pissed off. He preached a sermon railing against theft, and he made his flock a promise. “If that bike isn’t here before next Sunday, I’ll keep the lot of you at Mass until someone owns up. I’ll preach a sermon on the Ten Commandments like no-one has ever heard before.”
No bike appeared.
So, on the fourth Sunday, the furious priest began the longest sermon that had ever been preached in County Cork. On and on he went, three hours to each commandment. He’d started at 10.00 a.m., and it was at 4.00 on Monday morning that his agonised congregation heard him begin on Commandment Number Seven.
“Thou shalt not commit adultery,” he bellowed from the pulpit.
And that’s when he remembered where he’d left his bike.
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1966, old post ID:29093
At Mass that Sunday, he made it clear that he wouldn’t bear a grudge. “Whoever took it, just leave it outside the church, we’ll say no more about it.”
No bike appeared.
Next Sunday, he preached the same message.
No bike appeared.
The third Sunday, he was really pissed off. He preached a sermon railing against theft, and he made his flock a promise. “If that bike isn’t here before next Sunday, I’ll keep the lot of you at Mass until someone owns up. I’ll preach a sermon on the Ten Commandments like no-one has ever heard before.”
No bike appeared.
So, on the fourth Sunday, the furious priest began the longest sermon that had ever been preached in County Cork. On and on he went, three hours to each commandment. He’d started at 10.00 a.m., and it was at 4.00 on Monday morning that his agonised congregation heard him begin on Commandment Number Seven.
“Thou shalt not commit adultery,” he bellowed from the pulpit.
And that’s when he remembered where he’d left his bike.
Archived topic from Anythingforums, old topic ID:1966, old post ID:29093
