Anything Forums

Joke #1

4 Doctors were talking shop one day...

An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced,
we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and
have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a
lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking
for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced,
we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and
have them both looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah! We took an
A-hole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the
country was looking for work the next day!"

Joke #2

A woman goes to her docter and tells him that she can’t get any
from her husband. So he gives her some pills and says “they are
experimental pills, put two into his coffee and see what
happens”.

So she does and the next morning come back and says "the sex
was great what if I use ten?”

And the docter replied “they are experimental pills so try it
and see what happens”.

So the next day she comes back and says “the sex was better,
can I put the whole bottle in and see what happens?"

The next morning a little boy comes in and says, “my mother’s
dead, my sister’s pregnant, my arse hurts like hell and my
father is sitting in the corner saying "here kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty."

haha i get these in email rather funny today so i thought i would share

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35796

lol nice!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35797

The next morning a little boy comes in and says, “my mother’s
dead, my sister’s pregnant, my arse hurts like hell and my
father is sitting in the corner saying "here kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty."

I DON'T GET IT

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35798

richardj wrote: The next morning a little boy comes in and says, “my mother’s
dead, my sister’s pregnant, my arse hurts like hell and my
father is sitting in the corner saying "here kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty."

I DON'T GET IT

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

hmm this could be a problem if you dont get it?

you may be a lil to old to get it then



Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35799

richardj wrote: The next morning a little boy comes in and says, “my mother’s
dead, my sister’s pregnant, my arse hurts like hell and my
father is sitting in the corner saying "here kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty."

I DON'T GET IT

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

lol. I don't think I can even explain that. It's a family website

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35800

Furball wrote: lol. I don't think I can even explain that. It's a family website

umm ya sorry about that but i think ive seen werse somewhere on this site

like the shout box link richard posted for me


Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35801

Hehe not the joke part, describing the joke part

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35802

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35803

Furball wrote: Hehe not the joke part, describing the joke part

oh i know what ya ment

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35804

richardj wrote:

Holy crap, that is astounding. Check out the framerate as she shakes her ass!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35806

Furball wrote:

richardj wrote:

Holy crap, that is astounding. Check out the framerate as she shakes her ass!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35807

Triple6_wild wrote:

you may be a lil to old to get it then

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35808

That's the look of internet support when you tell them "It's not my firewall, and its not my modem, I'm telling you, its a DNS issue at your end!" Words like DNS and "at your end" tend to throw them off.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35817

got another one

How To Impress a Woman:

Compliment her
Cuddle her
Kiss her
Tease her
Comfort her
Hug her
Send her flowers
Wine and dine her
Listen to her
Care for her
Hold her
Support her
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
How to Impress a Man:

Show up naked..... with beer.

funny and true

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35850

haha so true.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35852

More like show up naked with an xbox and a bottle of tequila.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35853

thats is more like it furball

but theres one flaw in your plan

say it with me now s-o-n-y p-l-a-y-s-t-a-t-i-o-n .. not microsoft x-box



Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35854

x-box was the first thing I could think of . Which is weird because I don't play x-box looooooool

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35855

i dont play x-box ethere ... only game on that system i will play is halo 1 or 2

sony blood here all the way

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35856

I was born and raised in the days of nintendo, so I stick by the familiar heroes of my childhood. Mario pwns all. That or tangy games, but the only heroes from those are overblown pixels.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:35857

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down
to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate
from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all
that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from
Southeast Alabama A&M.

The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a
four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to
contain the word "Timbuktu".

The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the
clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on
camels, two by two Destination-Timbuktu.

The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck
top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in
silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and
recited:

Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu.



Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:36090

Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after
work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked
vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"Hi, Joe", she said. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

Joe was puzzled. "Charlie, is that you?" What are you doing
dressed up like a woman?"

"Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I
always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally
decided to do something about it. After a number of operations,
I am now a woman."

Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's
breasts, he said, "Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful
to have those implants put in."

"Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part."

Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach.
"Oh crap. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I
bet that was awful."

"Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the worst part."

"I don't believe it, Charlie. What could possibly be worse than
that?"

"The final operation was the worst. That was when they did a
craniotomy and took out half of my brain!"



Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:36191

Hahahahaha!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4461, old post ID:36199