Make a wish

manadren · Post by **manadren** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 1:57 pm

You have an orange Lamborghini mercielago LP640 with a black leather interior, but it's a crumpled, smoldering mess in your front yard, and you still have to make payments on it, and pay taxes on it.

I wish I had a Neogeo MVS arcade machine loaded up with Metal Slug games.

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flowergirlajg · Post by **flowergirlajg** » Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:41 pm

you have a Neogeo MVS arcade machine loaded up with Metal Slug games, however, it is in your apartment, where you live with your mother and her boyfriend.

I wish the Jonas Brothers never existed.

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Chyse · Post by **Chyse** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 2:06 pm

Same...
oh! umm....they were never born but all the little girls who watch them are now soldiers of Paris Hilton and spawn generations of HPV-ridden babies.

I wish my AP Stats grade wasn't an F.

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flowergirlajg · Post by **flowergirlajg** » Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:42 pm

Your AP stats grade is an A+, because the earth is a scattered wasteland (fallout 3 reference) and there is no schools anymore, only the bomb.

I wish I had a PONY!

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:06 pm

You have a pony, but have no real place to put it, and have to clean up after it, and it poops everywhere.

I wish my car was paid off.

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flowergirlajg · Post by **flowergirlajg** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:07 pm

Your car is paid off, but only because you sold your only ticket to an Iron Maiden concert.

I wish kids werent so vicious.

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Carbon_77 · Post by **Carbon_77** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:15 pm

Granted but now everyone says you're vicious.

I wish I could go to a concert.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:20 am

You get to go to a concert, but it damages your hearing.

I wish people would e-mail me more often.

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Chyse · Post by **Chyse** » Mon Apr 06, 2009 10:54 am

People e-mail you 400000 times per day. But they're all asking you if you want to buy viagra.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Mon Apr 06, 2009 4:02 pm

…

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:50 am

Chyse gets his wish to obtain a license to perform back-alley sex change operations, but unfortunately it was granted to him by Bruno.

I wish I had a new PC.

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 8:08 am

You get a new PC but then lose your job, go broke, and then have to sell it.

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Chyse · Post by **Chyse** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:02 am

Sorry...i forgot to add a wish...

Stasi, you get your wish of being the thinnest woman in africa, but you die because of mal-nutrition.

I wish I could pause time, without all that space-time continuum destruction and everything being absolute zero and pitch blackness and other tinfoil-hat science.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:55 pm

You pause time, but you lose your time controller.

I wish I were a Bene Gesserit.

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 4:49 pm

You are a Bene Gesserit, but that doesn't save you from the fact you are a slave in House Harkonnen.

I wish I had a super power.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Fri Apr 10, 2009 12:05 am

You have a super power, but you have to fight crime and save the world.

I wish I would stop drinking so much caffeine.

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Chyse · Post by **Chyse** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 11:44 am

You stop drinking so much caffine, but you are already a serious caffine addict and you must suffer withdrawl symptoms for the rest of your life.

I wish I were a ninja.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:41 pm

You’re a ninja, but you have to wear black all the time.

I wish Chyse did my dirty work for me.

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Mon Apr 20, 2009 2:33 am

Chyse does all your dirty work for you, but he's not really good at it at all, meaning you end up doing it anyway.

I wish some non-shooter games would be released for the ps3. Like maybe an rpg or something.

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 7:32 am

The PS3 soon becomes known as a "kiddie" console and the extent of non-shooter gaming involves finding Tinky Winky's purse in Teletubbyland. Even shooter gaming goes only as far as "shooting" whipped cream on small cupcakes and slices of pie for points.

****edit: Lest I forget to make a wish....

I wish that I could snap my fingers and take care of my spring cleaning without actually having to put any sweat into it.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:06 am

You don’t have to worry about spring cleaning, because your nursing home hires people to clean for you. Unfortunately, the arthritis keeps you from snapping your fingers.

I wish my computer got 48 hours of battery life!

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:59 am

It gets 48 hours of battery life, but you only have one hour to live.

I wish I had a new computer.

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:13 pm

You have a new computer, with a 33Mhz 486 processor.

I wish Blizzard would announce a release date for Diablo 3.

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robonightmare · Post by **robonightmare** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:18 am

Blizzard announced a release date for Diablo 3, but it's actually going to be based off of Runescape and sponsored by Sega, Disney, and Microsoft, meaning that the game is going to be filled with Sonic and/or Jonas Brothers and/or Miley Cyrus references/advertisements and run slow as hell. This is, of course, a hypothetical situation that could never happen in real life, thank god.

I wish that I was Captain Planet.

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 7:18 am

You become Captain Planet. However, this occurs as he is under anesthesia for a sex change operation. You wake up with fake DD's and no "wang". It's the first day of the rest of your life!

I wish I could effing sleep!

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