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Meanwhile, Will's Pirates of the Carob Bean theme park was being surrounded by a fleet of ghost ships, and one giant Disney cruise ship filled with lawyers. Apparently some undead pirates were kinda peeved about Will's exploitation and misrepresentation of pirate life and culture, and sought to bring a nice bloody and violent end to Will and the theme park. The disney guys just felt like sueing somebody, the lawyers were getting rusty or something. Seeing as the pirates were undead [and will was fresh out of holy magic], and the Disney people had way to much money to throw around on lawsuits, Will was left with only one option....

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manadren wrote: Meanwhile, Will's Pirates of the Carob Bean theme park was being surrounded by a fleet of ghost ships, and one giant Disney cruise ship filled with lawyers. Apparently some undead pirates were kinda peeved about Will's exploitation and misrepresentation of pirate life and culture, and sought to bring a nice bloody and violent end to Will and the theme park. The disney guys just felt like sueing somebody, the lawyers were getting rusty or something. Seeing as the pirates were undead [and will was fresh out of holy magic], and the Disney people had way to much money to throw around on lawsuits, Will was left with only one option....

to find Johnny Depp, the only man on earth who could calm both pirates and Disney executives, and enlist his aid. He flew to where Johnny was filming some really stupid movie we've all forgotten the title of, and asked him to help. "You're kidding, right?" Johnny asked. "Man, I'm rich and famous, there's no way in hell I'm gonna help you out." "But...but...there are pirates on the loose! And...movie executives! You HAVE to stop them! Otherwise bad movies will rot the minds of consumers for all enternity!" pleaded Will. Johnny considered this for a moment. "Alright, fine. But only if I get to sleep with Erolyn." "Deal," said Will. As they both flew back to Will's theme park, they suddenly encountered...

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A disney jet coming up beside them, trying to deliver some kind of legal document or something. They didn't get the chance however, as when Mr. Depp found out, he promptly mooned them, and the papers were lost amidst a frenzy of women trying to find their cameras. A few actually did get the shot, and pictures appeared on the internet moments later. Will was quoted as saying that he wished he was half the man that Depp was.

When the plane finally landed, the first thing Depp asked for was to see erolyn, however, there was one small problem...

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which was that Erolyn was currently busy sleeping with someone else. "It's okay, I can wait," Depp said. And he did. And all was good. Erolyn woke up the next morning to find...

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erolyn wrote: which was that Erolyn was currently busy sleeping with someone else. "It's okay, I can wait," Depp said. And he did. And all was good. Erolyn woke up the next morning to find...

that she was apparently stuck as an extra in an incredibly bad sequel starring Britney Spears called 'Crossroads 2: at least 6 people will pay to see me parade around onscreen showing my only marketable assets in clothes as skimpy as possible that will retain the PG-13 rating.'
She ran for the door hoping for a quick exit back to reality or a fast death - either option was better than appearing in this stinkbomb - but was in for a bigger surprise when she opened the door and found...........


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Cisco_Kid wrote: that she was apparently stuck as an extra in an incredibly bad sequel starring Britney Spears called 'Crossroads 2: at least 6 people will pay to see me parade around onscreen showing my only marketable assets in clothes as skimpy as possible that will retain the PG-13 rating.'
She ran for the door hoping for a quick exit back to reality or a fast death - either option was better than appearing in this stinkbomb - but was in for a bigger surprise when she opened the door and found...........

...Herself on the Black Pearl. t Captain Barbossa had captured Depp aboard the Black Pearl and Will had disappeared. A bunch of creepy zombie pirates grabbed her when Will yelled, "BARBOSSA!" Barbossa turned around to find Will standing on the starboard gunwale holding a pistol. Will jumped down and pointed the gun at Barbossa's head. "She goes free, MANADREN! Get out from under that hat and beard!" said Will. "What's in your head, boy?" replied Manadrenarbossa. "You've only one shot and we can't die." "Oh yeah?" Said Will. He flew up into the air, and a powerful hum thrummed through the ship. Then a blast resounded throughout the air as Willl smote the Zombies and lawyers with Holy power. Beams of light shot from Will and blasted ALL the pirates and pirate ships into dust, destroying them FOREVER and struck down the lawyers. The lawyes shrieked and died on the spot, for the rest of this story's life Depp and Erolyn forund themselves freed from their dons as the Black Pearland the other ships sunk to the depths along with the cruiser. Will, fully chuffed, lifted Erolyn and Depp free and set them among a treasure heap, then Zoomed off. Depp...

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took one look at erolyn and made with the wild monkey sex.

Manadren, unaffected by the holy magic [not being undead] and kinda pissed that his entire undead pirate army had been destroyed, put his evil necromantic powers to work. First he summoned a small number of skeletal warriors, which he used to perform a complicated ritual, calling upon the ancient spirits of evil to transform this decayed form into Mumm-Ra, the ever-living!!!!

Mumm-Ra opened a small portal which spwed forth a few hundred of the nastiest demons for the depths of hell. Magic isn't all that effective on these guys either, you have to kill them the old fashioned way. Mumm-Ra sent the demons forth into the Pirates of the Carob Bean theme park, laying waste to the park on their way to destroy Will.

Will, was screwed. He did not have the resources to fight a demon army such as this, which meant he had to call upon...

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manadren wrote: took one look at erolyn and made with the wild monkey sex.

Manadren, unaffected by the holy magic [not being undead] and kinda pissed that his entire undead pirate army had been destroyed, put his evil necromantic powers to work. First he summoned a small number of skeletal warriors, which he used to perform a complicated ritual, calling upon the ancient spirits of evil to transform this decayed form into Mumm-Ra, the ever-living!!!!

Mumm-Ra opened a small portal which spwed forth a few hundred of the nastiest demons for the depths of hell. Magic isn't all that effective on these guys either, you have to kill them the old fashioned way. Mumm-Ra sent the demons forth into the Pirates of the Carob Bean theme park, laying waste to the park on their way to destroy Will.

Will, was screwed. He did not have the resources to fight a demon army such as this, which meant he had to call upon...

His lovely magic Staff. Will muttered a mighty incantation, made by Merlin, the prince of enchanters himself, and then, something so terrible and yet wonderful happened that depp and Erolyn looked up.

The ground shook and shook, until it split open, revealing a red portal that led straight to the Twisting Nether, a vile world in which all was darkness. Will flung Mumm-ra and his demons into this pit and they disappeared into the Twisting Nether. Then Will placed a powerful seal that NONE could break on the portal, not even the most powerful demon. no one but will. Then Will called upon the fury of the Earth and with her power, A mighty hurricane appeared over the hole in the ground, and blasted the Portal for eternity. Then the Earth closed herself against the Twisting Nether for eternity. Will, now exhausted, went to BK and ate. Then he went home.
--------------

End of story. Let's do another. With no magic or demons.

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Not so long ago in a land not that far away, there lived a prince that kept out of the public eye. His name (all picked completely at random of course ) was Tak; one day the court jester, a ungainly fellow named Stasi told him that.........

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Cisco_Kid wrote: Not so long ago in a land not that far away, there lived a prince that kept out of the public eye. His name (all picked completely at random of course ) was Tak; one day the court jester, a ungainly fellow named Stasi told him that.........

The mighty Emperor Cisco and his little lackey boy Will Wallace were coming to pay him a visit. Prince Tak...

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William Wallace wrote: The mighty Emperor Cisco and his little lackey boy Will Wallace were coming to pay him a visit. Prince Tak...

knew right away that preparations had to be made for the great Cisco. He called for his beautiful cousin Princess Erolyn to be brought before him. "Yes, Prince Tak?" asked Erolyn. "Make me a sandwich, bee-yotch!" snapped Tak. Erolyn then slapped him for being a sexist pig. "Sorry," Tak stammered, scared shitless, "I meant go make the palace look nice for the Emperor's arrival. Please." "Sure," said Erolyn. As she was looking for the Royal Broom, she ran into...

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erolyn wrote: knew right away that preparations had to be made for the great Cisco. He called for his beautiful cousin Princess Erolyn to be brought before him. "Yes, Prince Tak?" asked Erolyn. "Make me a sandwich, bee-yotch!" snapped Tak. Erolyn then slapped him for being a sexist pig. "Sorry," Tak stammered, scared shitless, "I meant go make the palace look nice for the Emperor's arrival. Please." "Sure," said Erolyn. As she was looking for the Royal Broom, she ran into...

... a wall. Upon collision, she noticed that the wall had become ajar; this was no wall at all, it was a secret passage! She looked around, casually seeing if anyone was noticing her, no one around. She gave the wall a good push, and a long, narrow stairway reveiled itself by dancing candle-light. Stepping into the passage, and closing the entrance, she thinks i[]'this hallway must go down below the castle'[/i]. Excited at this discovery, she starts down the stairs when.........

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MrSelf wrote: ... a wall. Upon collision, she noticed that the wall had become ajar; this was no wall at all, it was a secret passage! She looked around, casually seeing if anyone was noticing her, no one around. She gave the wall a good push, and a long, narrow stairway reveiled itself by dancing candle-light. Stepping into the passage, and closing the entrance, she thinks i[]'this hallway must go down below the castle'[/i]. Excited at this discovery, she starts down the stairs when.........

Mr. Self, a ugly flesh eating troll, grabbed her by the shoulder. "Uh! Letmmegoletmego!" "NO! thundered Mrself. "ME HUNGRY! ME NEED FEED ON FLESH!" The horrible troll dragged Erolyn off into his cave...

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...and took off his mask and humpy-suit, to reveil a handsome, youthful lad. "Thought you might like some of this.." He said, as he unrolls a bag of marijuana and smokes out with erolyn. Afterwards, they stumble back out into the hallway and venture towards......

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MrSelf wrote: ...and took off his mask and humpy-suit, to reveil a handsome, youthful lad. "Thought you might like some of this.." He said, as he unrolls a bag of marijuana and smokes out with erolyn. Afterwards, they stumble back out into the hallway and venture towards......

..the castle moat. Mrself stripped and jumped in. "D'you think I should?" asked Eroyln. "yes, yes , jump in." She leapt in and then, the drawbrige was dropped, knocking MRself out and breaking his neck. "NO!" Erolyn yelled. She tried to pull him up, but he sunk to the depths. He was so muscular Erolyn could not lift him out of the water. She swam out of the moat and ran back inside the castle. She found the broom and begun hurriedly sweeping.
Then Emperor Cisco's carriage bumped over the bridge into the castle. Will jumped out, pulled out a set of steps , and out came the majestic Emperor. He topped out at 6 feet four inches, and was ruggedly handsome. He wore a black suit of armor with gold snaps and ivory lion's heads, with black boots and a red cape, and carried a large broadsword, with a gilt handle. Will was simply dressed in a purple tunic and brown shoes with a katana slung on his belt. Cisco thundered into the castle...

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Cisco clapped his hands twice, yelled out "DAPPER SWINDLER!" and out popped a little man in a monkey suit. "Manadren, fetch me my...

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sintekk wrote: Cisco clapped his hands twice, yelled out "DAPPER SWINDLER!" and out popped a little man in a monkey suit. "Manadren, fetch me my...

..scepter. I left in the Ford Excursion...

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next to the bongos. Bring those too, they are critical to.... the plan!" Manadren made a few monkey sounds and ate a bannana, then asked, "Duyaaah, hey bosch, whatz teh planz0rs?"

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He never used those words before and when he did, a huge glow was abound. He shielded his eyes and before him were...

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A book called "Le Plans"

Manadran opened the book, and what was inside shocked and rocked him to the core...

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It was the script to Oceans Eleven.

Manadren, eating a banana split which seemingly appeared out of thin air, questioned Will on "Le Plans"

"eek! eek! erm *ahem* Dude, how the blurdy hell are you going to try to pull that off? You can't act worth a crap, and we're short 8 actors and a crapload of extras!"

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"Dude, don't worry, we got the special FX crew and Julia Roberts. She's like, 8 people in one, right? Now all we need is a mini-cooper and a..."

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then WW and GG teamed up and devoured erolyn's soul.

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After that tasty meal,
"like I was saying, all we need is..."

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"jet engine".... They ate the engine, but.....

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