Noah's Ark in 2006

[Red Squirrel]

Noah in 2006

Late in the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living
in Australia, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying,

"You have 6 months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
- but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a
sprinkler system.

My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other
overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear
nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem.

There's a ban on cutting local trees
in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel
and inhumane
to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the residency status of most of
the people who want to work.

The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the ATO seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked,

"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4298, old post ID:34606

[manadren_it]

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4298, old post ID:34607

[Death]

ooooh so true.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4298, old post ID:34608

[richardj]

SO SO TRUE ---and heres an example fom today-----------------------

Need 1 Plat of Survey
Reply to: job-154079694@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-04-24, 10:57AM CDT


In order to rebuild my porch the city requires a Plat of Survey from a licensed surveyor, so if you're a licensed surveyor Please contact me with a quote. Thanks

* Job location is West Allis
* Compensation: $150


"--------------the land of the free, and the home of the brave


Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4298, old post ID:34609

[Red Squirrel]

Yeah it's rediculous now, all the regulations for silly things like that.

Not sure if its still this way or not, but people here who own farmland HAVE to use it as farmland. why? why can't they use it for what they want? Maybe they'd want to build a theme park or something. That would then open a whole new can of worms.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4298, old post ID:34611