New barbie dolls

[Red Squirrel]

NEW BARBIE DOLLS

As you know, Barbie is fast approaching forty. Now, at long
last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging
gracefully. These are a bit more realistic!

1. Bifocals Barbie:
Comes with her own set of blended lens fashion frames in six wild
colors [half frames too], neck chain and large print editions of
Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie:
Press Barbie's belly button and watch her face turn beet red
while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes
with hand held fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie:
As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow.
Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie:
Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier sleeved
gowns. Good news on the tummy front too; muumuus with tummy
support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie:
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken
their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with
pumice stones and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No More Wrinkles Barbie:
Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin
Sparkle Spackle from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting
cosmetics.

7. Mid-Life Crisis Barbie:
It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change and Fred, her
personal trainer, is just what the doctor ordered, along with
Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
NAPA Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up
Is Hard To Do."

8. Divorced Barbie:
Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's
boat...

9. Recovery Barbie:
Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party
girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean
and sober, she is going to meetings religiously. Comes with a
little copy of the Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

10. Post-Menopausal Barbie:
This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she
puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken
sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the
channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year,
the book, "Getting In Touch With Your Inner Self" is included.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4080, old post ID:33499

[ycontrol]

Oh my. Now I'd sure like to get my hands on some of those barbies. What a collection.

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4080, old post ID:33501

[richardj]

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:4080, old post ID:33504