Ex letters

[Red Squirrel]

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for
it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you
had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked
your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't
touch
me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife



Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out
your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you
cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was
"You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the
price
tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee
was
$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope
you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed , Rich As Hell and Free!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3747, old post ID:30486

[Pyr-O-Rgasm]

HAHAHAHA! That is HILARIOUS! PWNed in the face!

Archived topic from Iceteks, old topic ID:3747, old post ID:30487