Friends?

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flowergirlajg
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Friends?

Post by flowergirlajg »

Well, I was reading through the forums today, when something hit me like a cow gets hit by an oncoming train.
I realized, that after these years, I see you guys as 'friends'.
Not friends in the literal sense, but rather people that are.. there. Like, I can come on this forum and engage in some intelligent conversation for a change; away from the hellhole of middle school gossip. And I am starting to feel more emotion towards the members- Red, for example, I was genuinely happy for you when you said you had gotten your new house. And Chris- I miss you on the forums! You aren't on as much anymore.
That's just two examples of the things I am starting to experience while looking through these conversations.
I know this is like, my third post this week, but I felt like it needed to be said. Thanks for providing me somewhere to... ah, stretch my mental legs.

Am I the only one like this? :P
The AF FTW.

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Red Squirrel
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Post by Red Squirrel »

I'm kind of the same way. In person I'm not that social. I actually have more internet friends then local friends. Maybe that's kinda sad, I don't know... :P

The danger of internet friends is sometimes they are much easier to lose. For example I used to post at a warez forum, it got shut down and most members eventually found each other on another, then that one got shut down too, then another and so on and I pretty much totally lost track of those friends. I don't even remember any of them now...

Forums like this one are usually much safer though. Warez is kinda, illegal and stuff. :P lol to think I used to host pirated stuff on my ftp... LOL. Good times.

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Bookworm
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Post by Bookworm »

flowergirlajg wrote: Am I the only one like this? :P 
Not at all. I interact with people on my forums every single day, and I don't have any "real life" friends with whom I interact at the same frequency.

I had been posting at a religious forum for a few years after I stopped posting regularly here. The owner said he was going to stop hosting the forum and he wanted to know if one of us other members could take it over. I don't know anything about hosting forums, so I asked Red if he would help me. I wouldn't have asked that favor of Red if I hadn't already considered Red to be a friend, and Red offered to host it even though he was already busy with other things. I really appreciated that. Ultimately the owner decided to just make the forum disappear, but I have four of the old members as Facebook friends, and I visit the blogs of two others.

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scherzo
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Post by scherzo »

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Sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name....

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flowergirlajg
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Post by flowergirlajg »

scherzo wrote:
Sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name....
Exactly! :D In school I am not really the "social butterfly" so it's a relief to come here and actually have decent conversations with people that make me feel accepted, even though I have way less mental capacity than all of you (being a middle-schooler).
It's nice to talk about things that are relevant.


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scherzo
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Post by scherzo »

flowergirlajg wrote:
scherzo wrote:
Sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name....
Exactly! :D In school I am not really the "social butterfly" so it's a relief to come here and actually have decent conversations with people that make me feel accepted, even though I have way less mental capacity than all of you (being a middle-schooler).
It's nice to talk about things that are relevant.
you may have different experiences but I don't think less mental capacity. You can introduce anything you 'feel' into a conversation and feelings are more than enough to present anyones position on any topic


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FloodG8-9595
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Post by FloodG8-9595 »

scherzo wrote:
flowergirlajg wrote:
scherzo wrote:
Sometimes you wanna go where everyone knows your name....
Exactly! :D In school I am not really the "social butterfly" so it's a relief to come here and actually have decent conversations with people that make me feel accepted, even though I have way less mental capacity than all of you (being a middle-schooler).
It's nice to talk about things that are relevant.
you may have different experiences but I don't think less mental capacity. You can introduce anything you 'feel' into a conversation and feelings are more than enough to present anyones position on any topic

I agree that different experiences or even less experiences doesn't equal less metal capacity or intelligence because to be honest, I've meet people in 7th grade smarther than some 40 year olds I know... and who have more socially relevant things to say. However, it is always good to have a healthy dose of humility on any subject.

I take the last part of your sentence scherzo, to mean that having a feeling/opinion about something automaticly makes your feeling/opinion just as worthy as someone who has the education or knowledge (no matter how it was gained) to actually have a well thought out and knowlegeble opinion on a subject.
I think people speaking, and worse than that acting on foolish and uneducated feelings can be a terrible habit to have. It's also one that a whole lot of the world seems to share.

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Stasi
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Post by Stasi »

flowergirlajg wrote: Well, I was reading through the forums today, when something hit me like a cow gets hit by an oncoming train.
I realized, that after these years, I see you guys as 'friends'.
Not friends in the literal sense, but rather people that are.. there. Like, I can come on this forum and engage in some intelligent conversation for a change; away from the hellhole of middle school gossip. And I am starting to feel more emotion towards the members- Red, for example, I was genuinely happy for you when you said you had gotten your new house. And Chris- I miss you on the forums! You aren't on as much anymore.
That's just two examples of the things I am starting to experience while looking through these conversations.
I know this is like, my third post this week, but I felt like it needed to be said. Thanks for providing me somewhere to... ah, stretch my mental legs.

Am I the only one like this? :P 
The AF FTW.
I used to feel this way, but any more I have to experience people face to face to really care much about them, at least as far as considering them to be a friend. People (mostly young people, I think) seem to be either much more real or much more fake online than face to face. Authenticity is more difficult to come by than it should be.

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scherzo
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Post by scherzo »

FloodG8-9595 wrote:

I take the last part of your sentence scherzo, to mean that having a feeling/opinion about something automaticly makes your feeling/opinion just as worthy as someone who has the education or knowledge (no matter how it was gained) to actually have a well thought out and knowlegeble  opinion on a subject.
I think people speaking, and worse than that acting on foolish and uneducated feelings can be a terrible habit to have. It's also one that a whole lot of the world seems to share.
Before I was married, My wife would write many, many, many love notes. In return I wrote very few. This was accepted to be normal, but on one occasion where I had to go to work and didn't have the opportunity to speak to my wife to be, I wrote her a note about a wrong she did, and even suggested how in the note she can correct it.

My thoughts on the note were taken with complete reason. But when I returned home an argument occurred over this note. I had to admit that I was wrong, but I could not figure out how? 2 hrs it took me to figure out that I was wrong because it made her feel bad, that I used something intended for good for bad ( the note ). That she seen the note with expectation of love but then to see disgust.

Feelings trumped my reasoning, and she was right and I was wrong

With this in mind, I agree with your statements, but I believe that if someone feels strongly on a subject, they should voice it. My wife might resent me to this day if she didn't say how she felt, and she was right, and she was right with as few words as possible.


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FloodG8-9595
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Post by FloodG8-9595 »

scherzo wrote:
FloodG8-9595 wrote:

I take the last part of your sentence scherzo, to mean that having a feeling/opinion about something automaticly makes your feeling/opinion just as worthy as someone who has the education or knowledge (no matter how it was gained) to actually have a well thought out and knowlegeble  opinion on a subject.
I think people speaking, and worse than that acting on foolish and uneducated feelings can be a terrible habit to have. It's also one that a whole lot of the world seems to share.
Before I was married, My wife would write many, many, many love notes. In return I wrote very few. This was accepted to be normal, but on one occasion where I had to go to work and didn't have the opportunity to speak to my wife to be, I wrote her a note about a wrong she did, and even suggested how in the note she can correct it.

My thoughts on the note were taken with complete reason. But when I returned home an argument occurred over this note. I had to admit that I was wrong, but I could not figure out how? 2 hrs it took me to figure out that I was wrong because it made her feel bad, that I used something intended for good for bad ( the note ). That she seen the note with expectation of love but then to see disgust.

Feelings trumped my reasoning, and she was right and I was wrong

With this in mind, I agree with your statements, but I believe that if someone feels strongly on a subject, they should voice it. My wife might resent me to this day if she didn't say how she felt, and she was right, and she was right with as few words as possible.

well said..

I don't know if I'd say feeling trump reasoning in all cases but, your example certainly pointed out a case in which it did. (even though you may have been right to speak to her about a wrong that you felt she commited against you, you unintentionally hurt her because of her expectations) I guess this is why the human condition is so darn confusing sometimes. "The law of unintended consiquenses"

I also agree that if you have a feeling about something you should voice it but, if your feelings are based on bad or miss-information. you shouldn't continue to voice the same feeling
Then again voiceing your thoughts and vehemently sticking to them after they have been disproven are 2 different things.


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