sweetest thing ever

[Listerlnx666]

you do have a good point, but you also have to take into consideration that there are guys who don't care about it. My best friend's boyfriend of 2 years now doesn't care. He simply does it for my friend. He really never thinks about it.

yeah, thats true.....and I'm tired of ppl thinking that just because a guy doesn't just think about sex, he is gay, gimme a break, some people actually LOVE the people they are with. And just to say, I do think about it, but honestly, I don't care as much as most people. But when you can't get a girlfriend for years on end, you begin to realize that sex don't mean anything, all I really want is love, I may sound like a pussy, but I don't care what you think, so quit goin and sayin crap like "he's gay" or "what a fag", I don't think you have a very high self esteem......

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[Listerlnx666]

guys at his age always think about sex, some more than others.  Maybe Victor is frustrated and just needs some way to release it. 

that just may be one thing I agree with you on, it does seem that most, not all, guys his age think about sex, maybe 99.9%, and I apologize about getting the way I did on the other post, but I can argue for days, I don't know, it's just the way I am I guess, I'll keep going until I get my point across, but it's pretty senseless in arguing over a forum.......so once again, I apologize, I hope we can be friends, lol

My intent was not to argue with you Listerlnx...I was just speaking my mind. I do that a lot and sometimes I come across bitchey. So, I apologize to you and hope as well we can be friends. We can still argue though, i'm germain so i need to argue once in awhile Along with canadian french...

yeah, I know what you mean, I'm the same way, i've got German in me too, lol....so I'll continue to argue until I get my point across, I guess if we were in the same room, we'd go on forever, people would be betting on who would lose, lol

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[unbreakable]

I'm a little french and Irish! hehe

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[Minnie]

that just may be one thing I agree with you on, it does seem that most, not all, guys his age think about sex, maybe 99.9%, and I apologize about getting the way I did on the other post, but I can argue for days, I don't know, it's just the way I am I guess, I'll keep going until I get my point across, but it's pretty senseless in arguing over a forum.......so once again, I apologize, I hope we can be friends, lol

My intent was not to argue with you Listerlnx...I was just speaking my mind. I do that a lot and sometimes I come across bitchey. So, I apologize to you and hope as well we can be friends. We can still argue though, i'm germain so i need to argue once in awhile Along with canadian french...

yeah, I know what you mean, I'm the same way, i've got German in me too, lol....so I'll continue to argue until I get my point across, I guess if we were in the same room, we'd go on forever, people would be betting on who would lose, lol

exactly and that is not always a bad thing!

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[Listerlnx666]

guys at his age always think about sex, some more than others.  Maybe Victor is frustrated and just needs some way to release it. 

that just may be one thing I agree with you on, it does seem that most, not all, guys his age think about sex, maybe 99.9%, and I apologize about getting the way I did on the other post, but I can argue for days, I don't know, it's just the way I am I guess, I'll keep going until I get my point across, but it's pretty senseless in arguing over a forum.......so once again, I apologize, I hope we can be friends, lol

I do think about sex, any male that says they dont is trying to play the sweet guy to try an get laid or is gay. Edit: or marrried

I'm just stating facts from what I have seen, and what myself and my guy friends did back in the old high school days to get what we wanted out of girls. Granted we have grown up some over the last 6 years and 3 of the 6 of us are now married and miserable, the rest are free and happy having fun and sometimes they get to tag along and just look.

either that or they love the person they are with and don't just want sex from them, you got a point, who doesn't think about sex? I'm just saying that that's not the only thing or nearly the most important, and some guys aren't "playing" the sweet guy thing, maybe that's just who they are. It doesn't mean the person is gay. There really isn't any way to explain it, it's extremely complicated. there really isn't a word for it, "love" just doesn't quite cover it for some reason. Because I love her, well more than that, but you know what I mean, and if she doesn't want to do something, I don't want to. Cause I don't want her do do anything she doesnt want to, and I don't just try to make moves on her or anything like that......and like I said before, I do think about sex, but that is the least of my worries, I persaonally don't mind either way, and just because somebody feels that way, I does not mean that they are gay......I'm gettin sick of people saying that....I respect your opinion, but you're coming on like it's a damn fact, and it isn't, I'm living proof......and if they're gay, the WTF do they have a girlfriend? you think they're gay in denile or sumthin? They're not gay, they actually care about the girls they're with, and not just what's below the belt......

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[VictorEM83]

Okay its not only what s below the belt but it does matter. The 3 top reasons for divorce in coupples under 30 are money, adultry, time, and sex in that order.

So that means sex is an important component. Granted it is not all that matters at 16 because you havent lived with the same person in your own home as gf/bf. but once your out on your own with someone if you or they have unmet expectations or failed needs in the bedroom that leads to problems. now im not saying you should make sure that is the most important thing but it has its place. Trust me once a guy get it 3 times a week for a few months he expects it, and if it stops for a while its very hard ask any married guy, now that doesnt mean the end of a marriage but it can put a strain on it for that time.

Okay total hypothetical: minnie if fragged lost all interest in your sex life for a short time would it have a major impact of your marriage? or should it be the other way around?

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[Minnie]

Okay its not only what s below the belt but it does matter. The 3 top reasons for divorce in coupples under 30 are money, adultry, time, and sex in that order.

So that means sex is an important component. Granted it is not all that matters at 16 because you havent lived with the same person in your own home as gf/bf. but once your out on your own with someone if you or they have unmet expectations or failed needs in the bedroom that leads to problems. now im not saying you should make sure that is the most important thing but it has its place. Trust me once a guy get it 3 times a week for a few months he expects it, and if it stops for a while its very hard ask any married guy, now that doesnt mean the end of a marriage but it can put a strain on it for that time.

Okay total hypothetical:  minnie if fragged lost all interest in your sex life for a short time would it have a major impact of your marriage? or should it be the other way around?

It would have a major impact on our marriage. Sex and intamacy keeps your marriage together and close but it's not the only thing either. you still can be having sex and not be close...confusing i know. But to answer your question, yes major impact!! Crash, burn, die....... That will never happen though not with fragged

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[Stasi]

Ummm sorry to derail the thread but holy crap, Minnie and Stasi...what the hell....when did you guys get here (as in come back)? I've been gone a few days....big whoop wannna fight about it?
Oh man I watch too much Family Guy.

I visit every now and then. Been busy lately so when I do come in it's usually hitting some threads hard then little or no activity for a while and then hit it again.



As for what this topic has morphed into, I'll give my two cents.

Victor said:

Okay its not only what s below the belt but it does matter. The 3 top reasons for divorce in coupples under 30 are money, adultry, time, and sex in that order.

The top three reasons? Looks more like four. And these are the top reasons according to who? Anyway, I think a lot of people get married who shouldn't, either because they're financially irresponsible, aren't with someone they can really be happy with for the long term, or haven't got a very powerful sense of love. I think the state of many romantic relationships is quite pathetic.

Listerlnx666 said:

either that or they love the person they are with and don't just want sex from them, you got a point, who doesn't think about sex? I'm just saying that that's not the only thing or nearly the most important, and some guys aren't "playing" the sweet guy thing, maybe that's just who they are. It doesn't mean the person is gay. There really isn't any way to explain it, it's extremely complicated. there really isn't a word for it, "love" just doesn't quite cover it for some reason. Because I love her, well more than that, but you know what I mean, and if she doesn't want to do something, I don't want to. Cause I don't want her do do anything she doesnt want to, and I don't just try to make moves on her or anything like that......and like I said before, I do think about sex, but that is the least of my worries, I persaonally don't mind either way, and just because somebody feels that way, I does not mean that they are gay......I'm gettin sick of people saying that....I respect your opinion, but you're coming on like it's a damn fact, and it isn't, I'm living proof......and if they're gay, the WTF do they have a girlfriend? you think they're gay in denile or sumthin? They're not gay, they actually care about the girls they're with, and not just what's below the belt......

For as much cynicism as I lay out over you and your relationship(s), I understand how you feel and agree with this post, though I do think you tend to 'deify' the object of your passion/obsession a bit much... but I'm not a mind reader.... But yes I will echo the point that for some guys, sex, though wonderful, is far from being the central issue. Despite my high libido, the way I prioritize the nature and activity of a relationship, as it develops is this:

friendship -> love -> sex

Try to avoid the route of:

infatuation -> delusions of 'love' -> sex -> enmity (either from one to another or held by both)

I am completely against sex without love, which some people I know would think odd of me, and those who know me, especially the old-timers in here, know I don't have much luck when it comes to women, so take my 'two cents' for what its worth. I am also completely against love without critical thinking and sensibility. For me it's about meaning, integrity, friendship, and loyalty. Sex, while it is practically a necessity in a love relationship (that has any hope of lasting long-term), it is certainly secondary to those qualities. Oh, and this may sound mean, but to hell with women who are too prudish or selfish to allow a man to express his love and affection for her physically - likewise for a prudish man to his woman.

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[unbreakable]

Okay we went from my, now, boyfriend telling me how he feels to sex....hm.

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[Stasi]

Yep. It's a funny thing, the direction even the most mundane thread can take.

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[Minnie]

friendship -> love -> sex

Absalutely....you cannot have love without friendship, for your lover is your best friend.

Try to avoid the route of:

infatuation -> delusions of 'love' -> sex -> enmity (either from one to another or held by both)

I am completely against sex without love, which some people I know would think odd of me, and those who know me, especially the old-timers in here, know I don't have much luck when it comes to women, so take my 'two cents' for what its worth.  I am also completely against love without critical thinking and sensibility.  For me it's about meaning, integrity, friendship, and loyalty.  Sex, while it is practically a necessity in a love relationship (that has any hope of lasting long-term), it is certainly secondary to those qualities.  Oh, and this may sound mean, but to hell with women who are too prudish or selfish to allow a man to express his love and affection for her physically - likewise for a prudish man to his woman.

I don't think your odd at all Stasi, a lot of people do think like you and are against sex without love. I personally do not. I think of sex in some ways as a tool of one's desires and being satisfied. Example, having a piece of choclate or buying a car ect.... having sex without love is not doing anything wrong or is not being immoral, it's simply pleasing yourself in desires as long as the other person is aware of your feelings and not being played to believe it is love.

Women who are too prudish or selfish to allow a man to express h is love or vise versa is uncomfortable or not accepting to one's love and i agree to hell with them.





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[Bookworm]

Oh, and this may sound mean, but to hell with women who are too prudish or selfish to allow a man to express his love and affection for her physically - likewise for a prudish man to his woman.

But if a person has the religious motivations to stay celibate until marriage, does that automatically make them prudish or selfish?


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[Minnie]

Oh, and this may sound mean, but to hell with women who are too prudish or selfish to allow a man to express his love and affection for her physically - likewise for a prudish man to his woman.

But if a person has the religious motivations to stay celibate until marriage, does that automatically make them prudish or selfish?

If a person is acting 'prudish" because of religious beliefs then hopefully the spouse will repsect that and be expressive in public. I think that is a different situation. Don't you?

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[Bookworm]

Oh, and this may sound mean, but to hell with women who are too prudish or selfish to allow a man to express his love and affection for her physically - likewise for a prudish man to his woman.

But if a person has the religious motivations to stay celibate until marriage, does that automatically make them prudish or selfish?

If a person is acting 'prudish" because of religious beliefs then hopefully the spouse will repsect that and be expressive in public. I think that is a different situation. Don't you?

Well sure, it's a different situation if we are talking about spouses.

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[Stasi]

But if a person has the religious motivations to stay celibate until marriage, does that automatically make them prudish or selfish?

If a person is acting 'prudish" because of religious beliefs then hopefully the spouse will repsect that and be expressive in public. I think that is a different situation. Don't you?

Well sure, it's a different situation if we are talking about spouses.

I was thinking about spouses when I wrote that. Also, if one person can't have patience and respect the other's desire to remain celibate until marriage, whether motivated by religiousness or not, then that person is unfit to be with. You can't truly love someone and make them choose between their sense of morality and you.

edit: My mind's been on the big 'settling down' thing lately....

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[Stasi]

I don't think your odd at all Stasi, a lot of people do think like you and are against sex without love. I personally do not.  I think of sex in some ways as a tool of one's desires and being satisfied. Example, having a piece of choclate or buying a car ect.... having sex without love is not doing anything wrong or is not being immoral, it's simply pleasing yourself in desires as long as the other person is aware of your feelings and not being played to believe it is love.

I suppose the root of my opposition to sex without love is that, from my observation, from talking to people, and so on, it seems that there is an emotional element to sex that is inescapable. Also, the potential for pregnancy, std transmission, and one person developing some kind of emotional bond that isn't reciprocated aren't worth the brief pleasure that loveless sex generates. Probably a good part of this has to do with how well one can compartmentalize the act and the emotion. Also, I'd like to believe in a world in which sex is something truly special, something to share only between people in love. I know that world doesn't exactly exist.... Hmmm, a dose of optimistic idealism in my often cynical realism.

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[ycontrol]

That world can easily exist for you if that's what you want. It can't exist for people that have had loveless sex but can for those who havn't.

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[VictorEM83]

that's the problem with sex so many people assume there has to be "love" but Love is always gonna be different. Love when you where 16 isnt gonna be the same as love when your 20, 30 or 40. Now I dont believe in just having sex with anyone, but how do you define love?

As for feeling connected to someone after, yea guys try to play it off, but it happens my cousin is a sucker for it.

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[Stasi]

Now I dont believe in just having sex with anyone, but how do you define love?

My, oh my, what a deep topic that is... I've started a thread in the debate section about it.

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