BUSH DETERMINED TO PLAN NEXT CATASTROPHE

Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 2:49 pm

Will Be 'Catastrophic Success,' Says President

In a nationally televised address last night, President George W. Bush
said that Hurricane Katrina had taken him by surprise but promised the
American people, "As long as I sit in this chair, all future catastrophes
will be planned by me."

Attempting to reassure the country that he had a firm hand on the
ship of state, the President said, "If there is going to be a tremendous
disaster that impacts thousands or millions of American lives, then it is
going to happen on my schedule and on my terms."

Backing up his rhetoric with action, the president said he was going to
make disasters a top priority of his administration by creating a
Cabinet-level post, tentatively called Secretary of Catastrophe.

"It will be the Secretary of Catastrophe's job to devise, plan, and
implement all major disasters going forward," the president said.

While Mr. Bush did not indicate whether the next catastrophe would
be of an economic, foreign policy or ecological nature, he concluded
with this promise: "The White House will plan the next catastrophe
and it will be a catastrophic success."

But according to Dr. Ivan Peslow of the University of Minnesota,
the creation of a Secretary of Catastrophe, while well-intended, may
result in an unnecessary level of bureaucracy.

"The president has a lot of manpower, such as Donald Rumsfeld,
Condoleezza Rice and Michael Chertoff, who are already creating
catastrophes on more or less a full-time basis," Dr. Peslow said.

Elsewhere, Supreme Court nominee John Roberts said that an
American's right to privacy should include not having to answer
questions before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

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Chris Vogel · Post by **Chris Vogel** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:06 pm

Shouldn’t this be in the jokes section?

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:18 pm

Nah, it's still news.

Shows up on home page and may attract attention here.

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Bookworm · Post by **Bookworm** » Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:12 pm

I'm not sure if we want that kind of attention.

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Reaper · Post by **Reaper** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 6:09 pm

What do you mean?

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fragged one · Post by **fragged one** » Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:05 pm

yeah...i wouldn't exactly call that news...

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