I want to make Sintekk's day...

The Gheyness · Post by **The Gheyness** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:23 pm

[center]Last night, my friend and I had a philosophical discussion about life and Doritos.

There wasn't much to debate about Doritos...they're good as hell, especially with beer, pretty much end of discussion.

But then she told me it was insane to be normal. And I thought, well maybe she's right? I mean, what is normal?

In that split second, my life had been turned upside-down.

Maybe the guy that I saw down in DC reciting the American national anthem and banging his head on the sidewalk was perfectly sane.

Maybe Doug here at AF is perfectly sane and I'm the one that's a nutjob.

Maybe the guy that lies in the gutter and talks to his toe that he calls "Cornelius" is saner than you or me.

I turned away from my friend to search for the words to say...At that moment, I wanted to accept her as my teacher to the world - my new philosophical guide, if you will.

I finally found the words to say to her and I turned back to look into her eyes.

...

She was eating half a tampon.

And that was the end of that.[/center]

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Clueless · Post by **Clueless** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:31 pm

thats um.. interesting.. i think..

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The Gheyness · Post by **The Gheyness** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:39 pm

It's science talking, not me.

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ycontrol · Post by **ycontrol** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:44 pm

HOLY CHRIST!

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The Gheyness · Post by **The Gheyness** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:50 pm

Okay, people, let me clarify that this was just a joke! ;X

Evidently not a very funny or obvious one, though?

I'll go kill myself now, cya.

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000 · Post by **000** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:00 pm

The Gheyness wrote:

Maybe the guy that I saw down in DC reciting the American national anthem and banging his head on the sidewalk was perfectly sane.

Are you following me?

GET OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!AAAAAAHHHHHHHH AAHAHAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAHH. OOOOOOOOOH AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AH AHH "COUGH" AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:01 pm

She was eating half a tampon.

And that was the end of that.

You wanted her to be your philosophical guide?

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The Gheyness · Post by **The Gheyness** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:20 pm

Hey, everybody makes mistakes, Sintekk!

FYI, I'm accepting applications for Philosphical Guides, please apply inside. Scientologists not welcome.

And 000000...you look pretty good, from the back. ;X

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Clueless · Post by **Clueless** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:21 pm

ill apply! what do i do?

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sintekk · Post by **sintekk** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:26 pm

The Gheyness wrote: Scientologists not welcome.

Damn, everybody's a Tom Cruise Hater!

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The Gheyness · Post by **The Gheyness** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:43 pm

Since we now have the first applicant for the highly esteemed and lucrative position as my Philosophical Guide, let me clarify a bit further.

I must warn you - it will take years of dedication and an understanding of complex finite math and nuclear fractions...and a willingness to show your aformentioned dedication by sending me $100 cash, weekly, in order to cover insurance costs should you be hurt in the process of becoming my Philosophical Guide. (note: $100 cash may be substitutable with nudes)

Yes, my friend, being my Philosophical Guide can be physically dangerous and must not be taken lightly!!

But if you act now, I'll throw in two lessons on posting nonsensical topics while blindfolded, one of my best skills mind you, a $49.95 value, for FREE.

offer void in the virgin islands and the lesser antilles. a 5% sales tax for all residents of florida and california, just because they're so stupid. tampon eating is not allowed, unless you're as hot as jessica simpson in her new video because hot chicks can do whatever the hell they want. all money is non-refundable, exchange for store credit only. all nudes sent become the personal property of TheGheyness, herein referred to as "The Cookie god," and may or may not be used for his own personal pleasure. sorry, no COD's. or small children. i hate kids.

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Clueless · Post by **Clueless** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:59 pm

uhhh.. *rips up the application* *stomps on it and throws it in the fire*

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Shinizo · Post by **Shinizo** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 11:12 pm

Anyone who can eat a tampon better be a guide.

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The Gheyness · Post by **The Gheyness** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 11:36 pm

And be drinking lots of Metamucil.

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erolyn · Post by **erolyn** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 12:50 am

sintekk wrote:
The Gheyness wrote: Scientologists not welcome.

Damn, everybody's a Tom Cruise Hater!

well...why wouldn't they be?

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