Friendships

Bookworm · Post by **Bookworm** » Sun Feb 13, 2005 11:59 pm

Can true friendships be developed simply by talking to other people on a forum? I consider myself friendly with everyone here (or at least I try to be), but can it be a true friendship if you don't even know the other person's real name?

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:25 am

It may be possible that some people may intensly bond with others in a forum, but it's highly unlikely that anyone really forms true friendships.

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000 · Post by **000** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:21 am

Friendship
#1 (n.) Kindly aid; help; assistance,
#2 (n.) The state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will.
#3 (n.) Aptness to unite; conformity; affinity; harmony; correspondence.

So yes, I think they can.

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 1:38 am

0 wrote:
Friendship
#1 (n.) Kindly aid; help; assistance,
#2 (n.) The state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will.
#3 (n.) Aptness to unite; conformity; affinity; harmony; correspondence.

So yes, I think they can.

I don't think Bookworm was asking whether or not the relationship between two people on a forum could fit the basic definition of 'friendship'. More than likely, he was asking whether or not two people could truly be 'good' friends having never met.

I believe they can only amongst the most trusting and, perhaps, desperate and lonely people. After all, every single one your forum acquaintences could die tonight, but how would that profoundly affect you? I highly doubt you would be as crushed as you would if all of your real-life acquaintences died.

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manadren · Post by **manadren** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 1:56 am

I would say that it can happen, but it's not likely. And if real friendships do develop over forums, I would have to say it would take a rather long time to develop that kind of bond over such a medium.

I think it's more likely that people meet in a fourm, and later become friends in real life.

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Bookworm · Post by **Bookworm** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 9:17 am

Stasi wrote: After all, every single one your forum acquaintences could die tonight, but how would that profoundly affect you?

I'd probably go into hiding. If some killer found all my forum acquaintances, they are probably coming after me next.

Seriously, though, if one of you people here on the forum were to die, I would be just as saddened as I would be if one of my co-workers died. I see the people I work with every day, but I know more about some of the people on the forum than I do about some of my co-workers. There simply isn't time while working to form close relationships with everybody. Perhaps seeing the other individual isn't as important in friendship as communicating with the other person.

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Red Squirrel · Post by **Red Squirrel** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:33 pm

Yeah true, most of the people I know online I know fairly well the same way I know friends I know in "real life". Though I find most of the people I meet in real life I end up only talking to them online. For example two of my college friends will have moved by next year (one moved already) so we only speak to each other online. After a while you forget that you even talk offline.

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:19 pm

Maybe I'm just a socially detached deviant who has an utterly difficult time getting close to people... yep, that's it. But seriously, bad as it may sound, any one of the people on this forum could die and it would hardly trouble my mind. I'd reflect on this fact that I'd conversed with them distantly, but anything beyond that would melt away quickly. Unless I meet a person face to face, their existence just isn't very 'real' to me. Of course, some people's death would inspire more reflection than others, but still....

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Geisha · Post by **Geisha** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:16 pm

Well it depends. If people come here with the mindset to find true friendship on the internet, then yes, it's possible. Or if people find someone they enjoy talking to, then for sure, i can see them developing a relationship and eventually meeting, perhaps.

However, I think your friendship would only really be valid within the realms of the internet. In real life, i think you both would still have to pause, rewind a bit and have to start from scratch to some extent: examine each other's appearance, how you carry yourselves, if you can even STAND how the other carries him/herself... if he/she is even "seems" the same as they were on the internet.... It would be like having to meet each other all over again. In this instance, your friendship would be in 3 dimensions rather than just 2.

If you both realize you like each other even more, then that's great... But there's that chance that you may conclude that your real-life selves aren't as compatible as you were hoping them to be.

So to conclude, I think you can have a "true" friendship with someone on the internet, but definitely not a complete one.

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Stasi · Post by **Stasi** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:10 am

Geisha wrote: So to conclude, I think you can have a "true" friendship with someone on the internet, but definitely not a complete one.

I can agree with that.

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sweetness · Post by **sweetness** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 12:57 pm

Stasi wrote: Maybe I'm just a socially detached deviant who has an utterly difficult time getting close to people... yep, that's it. But seriously, bad as it may sound, any one of the people on this forum could die and it would hardly trouble my mind. I'd reflect on this fact that I'd conversed with them distantly, but anything beyond that would melt away quickly. Unless I meet a person face to face, their existence just isn't very 'real' to me. Of course, some people's death would inspire more reflection than others, but still....

yup.. just about sums it up.

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scherzo · Post by **scherzo** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:07 am

going to resurect this dinosaur - original post 2005

oddly enough I know no one in real life that I know online. friends in real life are only in real life, I have no connection to them via the web, or instant messanger.

online friends are different. and I have a few, these friends are ones formed by similar interests on other boards. With them it is always friendly compition and rarley know each others personal stories.

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Minnie · Post by **Minnie** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 4:07 pm

I think that you can develop friends online, however if you don't know their real name they are not your friend. I have met several folks online that are real good friends to me. So my answer is no, not if you don't even know their name but if you get personal with them and develop friendship and start sharing your lives, yes. I know a total of 6 people that i have met from forums and have met them all in real life too. Starting from up North in Lower Michigan down to San Antonio.

Forums are great for meeting new people and new friends. BUT Becareful and be smart!!

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Vixen · Post by **Vixen** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:46 pm

Depends. Are both parties being themselves, being real...using sign on names but giving their real names too...I have met alot of people online- but, I usually end up seeing them at an event too- just dont keep it online. There was one person that I grew attached to online, but we stopped talking when his life spiraled out of control after 9-11...he pops up now and then to say hello-but thats it. My fiance and I initially met online and hated each other-go figure.

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